You are allowed to feel...

There is a subject that I really think I should write about. I don't know who all even reads this blog, if there be any. But I still believe that I should write about this anyway.

Before I get into what I want to say I need to first address social media vents:
There are people in this world that use facebook and other social media places as a way to complain about things to get attention. You know, the woe is me people. Not very many people like these people. And those people might honestly have no idea that they are being, frankly, narcissistic. That they are purposely using social websites to get people to give them validation and attention so that they will feel better about themselves. I use to be one of those people. I bring this up, because I want to first address that using social media as outlets to vent or bring/ create drama is not okay. It is not mature and you should deal with those issues face to face.

With that said, life is hard. I have already brought up the hypocrisy of this world, and that you can''t even feel without getting shamed. Life is hard, guys. Rarely, do people have easy lives. Love ones die, people get sick, freak accidents happen, hearts break, and trials are going to come no matter how good of a person we try to be. At some points life just sucks. It really, undisputedly sucks sometimes. I believe that eventually light and hope will shine through in the dark. That after the storm, there is a rainbow. I have faith that good things will eventually happen. However that may be, I think it is important to say, that you are allowed to cry. You are allowed to feel pain, to feel broken. You are allowed to be human. You are not perfect. You are not indestructable. You are allowed to feel all the emotions that come with what you are dealing with. Don't listen to everyone that tells you to just walk it off. You can walk it off tomorrow, but today, feel, cry, break, and you can pick up the peces and move forward tomorrow.

If we forget how to feel, we forget to how to be human.

The Issue With Soul Mates...

For anyone who have kept up with this blog over the years, might already have an idea on my stance of Soul Mates. Some of you might object to my opinions, but that is okay. I grew up with parents that I love very dearly. When I was about 10 years old, my parents split. When I was 13, they divorced. I was stuck in an on going pride, power, and anger battle. Often times, I was used as a pawn in these battles and even though my parents loved me, sometimes amidst the fights the anger and pride crushed every ounce of family love we had till we were standing in the burning rumble.

For years I never understood how such a loving home could turn so cold and so horrific. That a life I loved was something I dreaded waking up to everyday. How can two people who love each other, turn into mortal enemies? So what did I do? I started reading every marriage and family book put in front of me. I knew that I never wanted to make my future family go through the pain and the stress I had. Never would I willing put anyone through what I had.

Something that I cam to realize that a lot of relationships are tainted with this idea that there is one soul mate out there for us. In a past post, I talked about how there are multiple one in a millions. Since there are over 7 billion people on this planet this means there are thousands of one and a millions. With that said, there isn't just one person out there for you. Actually, with the effort, there are many different people that you could be happy with. You both just have to put in the effort and the work.

So here is the issue. If you are one of those who believe that there is one soul mate out there for you, let me twll you how this can actually ruin your relationships. Marriages and relationships are build on knowing, trusting, relying, loyalty and love, right? These take time, work, and effort to accomplish. Every day you have to give your significant other 100% and sometimes you have to give an extra 20% when they can only give 80% that day. It is on going.

Sometimes there becomes fights and issues that come up within a relationship. Things get stressful and hard and at night you are wondering, why is it this hard? If you got married thinking this person was your soul mate, you literally embedded a seed that told you that he/she is perfect. But as you are lying there at night, after hours of yelling and going to bed with such chaotic tension, you suddenly think, What if he/she isn't my soul mate? By doing this you realize that your actual soul mate might actual be still out there, and you haven't met them.

Do you see the issue? In a majority of marriages if both sincerely work on the marriage after 5 years you will find a happy couple. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Things take time and great things take patience. If we fixate with this idea that there is only one person, even though it is a nice idea, we will end up hurting ourselves and everyone else involved. There isn't a soul mate out there for us, we create a soul mate with a person that we chose and a person that we work to love.

Love is out there, don't wait for it to fall into your lap. Go find it.

A Sea Of Our Own Hypocrisy...

I have often found it strange how the world's lines on people are often double crossed or overlapping. That in some cases, to keep one person or groups' rights, you must take away another's. That you could be an angel sent from heaven, but to some people, that angel is nothing but the apparition of the devil. The line between right and wrong, of presentable and garbage, of what should offend people and what merely strikes at one's pride, is so mixed together that it is almost like everyone sees a different line and a different view.

What I have found growing up is, weakness, trials and tribulation, and even successes are often suppose to be kept to yourself.  If one vented to someone about their messed up family life, they were called a whiner. If one talked about the things they had to go through, the pain, issues, trials they had to over come, they were looked at as a liar or seeking attention. If someone uses their past as a reason or clarification on why they act the way they do, they looked at as weak. Some people may see the individual and see their strength and their light but yet there is such an over powering about of voices that saw that same strength as instead  higher oneself. . When did surviving, getting perspective or growing up become something different than being strong or wise, but instead, it made you defective or inferior.

If you stand for what you believe in, whether that be in a god or traditional marriage, people may tell you that you are prejudice and hateful. If you are atheist or just don't believe in a higher being and don't care about traditional values, or see their importance, you can be judged and looked at as a sadist. If you have a happy childhood with loving parents and happy memories, you were sheltered. If you had a messed up childhood and fell into some really rocky situations made by bad choices, you are a failure. If you had horrific challenges tossed at you from every direction, and you still got back up and kept moving forward, god forbid you say even a sentence of your past, they probably will tell you that you are begging for validation and attention.

No matter how good of a person you may be, no matter how pure your intentions truly are, there will still be people who see you as nothing more than a self absorbed no good piece of trash, and that pains my heart. There are so many people in this world who have such magnificent and wonderful personalities and hearts that are tossed away because of ill conceived judgements. Good men and women who are kicked down because they have compassion. Honest people lied to because a person sees manipulation and lies as a way to get ahead.

I know that there is good in the world. I know that there are good people out there trying to make a difference everyday and are often over looked. I also know that I am not perfect. People wonder why the world seems to be running into the fire that can drive us straight  to hell, but in reality it is because we are drowning in a sea of our own hypocrisy that we don't realize that most of us are the ones that are leading us to our destruction.

Hello Blogging World

Well Hello!

As Most of you know I have not been on here for a long time. I began this blog when I was in Junior high. I started to continue blogging in high school, but got very distracted with trying to graduate that I failed at my attempt. I had a few loyal followers and I apologize for my absence and my not being able to follow through with my posts. For me to promise to write every week, I realize, is a hallow promise, but I will try my best.

If you were to go back through my post, through out the years, you would be able to see a teenager go through heart break, depression, happiness, and a broken home. In my adolencent life I watched my family fall apart, lost a friend suddenly, was cheated on, used, stressed, over worked and an outsider in my own home. To say the least, I got a glimpse on just how hard life can knock you down. It has been a long journey to get to where I am now. As well, I know that this journey and the mountains I will have to climb are far from over.

I am now in my 20s trying to find my place in this world, live on my own, and hopefully in the next few years start my own family. The point of this blog is not to get attention or to give myself some type of validation, but to find the words to express myself and what I learn in life, so that maybe one of you might understand that you are not alone. Life was never meant to be easy. Good luck, money and riches are not usually handed to you on a silver platter. There are days that we feel alone, forgotten, or hated by the world. Sometimes we just need to know someone else knows what we are going through.

If this blog helps even one person, then it has succeeded. If it is only a journal of thoughts for myself, that is fine as well.

Boredom...

      Anyone else notice that I never posted last Tuesday?? Sorry about that I will have my Money Issues post published on Friday. Thank you again for all of your guys' support! And without further ado, now to this weeks post.


     Boredom...is a very common thing. As a teenager, and now college student, boredom was and is a very common sickness I have developed. Now understand, it is and has been, a rare occasion that I am not busy. I have been working at different jobs nonstop and juggling school since I was a freshman in High School. Then add all the extracurricular activities I was involved in, it wasn't very often that I had free time. Yet, some how, at least a few times a week, I was bored and oh man did I voice it to the world that I was bored, as if some how it was the world's fault and someone needed to rescue me.
      Here is what I have learned. We get bored and restless with ourselves at different moments. We want to go out, party, date, watch a movie, just something right? Or if you are like how I was, you use being bored as an excuse to procrastinate on homework (I know a few of you laughed and nodded). But we tend to blame us being restless on others or things. For example, money, friends are busy, homework, nothing to do. But honestly the only reason you are bored, is because of you.

      If you don't have any money or don't know what to do, play cards, a board game, go on a walk or a hike. Take a bike ride around town. Sing, write, watch a movie at home. Honestly google  or pintrest it and you will find an endless supply of ideas.

      Friends are busy? Who cares, go out on your own. By going out on your own, your are abling yourself to get to have some personal one on one time to get back in tune with who you are individually. Here is a crazy thought...hang out with your family! Make new friends.

      Homework? If there is anything that I have learned, just do it. Finish it before the last second. It is that simple.

      Don't like anything on here, change your perspective or take a nap. That is all I have to say.

People, Enjoy life while you have it. Take every moment in, because before you know it, it will be gone. And personally I would rather know I did something, anything, than looking back and seeing all the time I wasted.

So You Don't Like The Way You Look...

     Tell me if I'm wrong, but this subject is almost talked about, too much. For girls its, my hair won't work, my thighs are too big, my cheeks look like a hippo, my face is covered in acne. The list goes on and on. For the guys, my best guess is all about being toned, muscular, and other areas. (I am a girl I don't really know) All I do know is, that is is not only girls who feel incompetent about the way that they look. We all have insecurities.
      We could go off on a shpeal (yes sh-p-eel) about how you are perfect exactly the way that you are, but I'm not going to, at least not exactly. In all honesty none of us are perfect. We all have things that differ from everyone else. And we live in this world, that compares every one us, based on the social want of what we think is perfect. No matter if its a Size 0 or a Size 16 that we praise, there will always be some group that doesn't make the cut, in the eyes of society. Why? Because we are built to function by putting everything in groups. Things that are right, and things that aren't. So we error in the way that we perceive judgment on people. Because why must there always be a right or wrong to everything.
        The way I see it is, if you don't like the way you look, stop looking in the eyes of the world. Because you can go to the gym. You can watch what you eat. But for how ever long, that you are only looking at yourself in the way that the world sees you, you'll never be good enough. Because no matter how much anyone tries, no one is perfect. No one has every single quality that the world has deemed right. We are all filled with imperfections. But understand, that those imperfections, are what make each and every one of you, unique, and it's whats unique  that is worth seeing.
      If you don't like the way you look, change your perspective. Stand in front of the mirror and look at you. I mean, really look at you. Don't think about what you question is wrong. Look at you for who you are. You are unique. You are the only ideal you.
      Stop looking at yourself through the world's eyes, and start looking at yourself through your own.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Single and Alone...

   

Let’s face it, the position of being single and alone is a very, very popular subject. You might be in a serious relationship and you are trying to give singles advice, or you’re single and you’re sick and tired of other people trying to give you advice. If you are not apart of any side, you then fall into the other category.I, myself, am on the single side of this issue, if we can even call this an issue. So far in my life I haven’t had many long term relationships. Which means, a majority of my life I have not had a significant other. So trust me when I say, I understand being what it's like being single.


To begin, let me just set the ground floor, you know, dismiss some myths. First of all, just because someone is single, does not mean the number one thing they want, is a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, there are nights when I wish I had someone to sunggle up with, eat take out, and watch Bones with me. But that, in no way means, I need a relationship. Remember, almost my entire understanding of how to survive in this world, is on my own. The idea of having someone else to worry about, to have weight in all my decision, or to even open up to, is not in my comfort zone. My main focuses are my family and friends, work, and school. There are more important things to me than finding someone this second.


The next myth, is just because I am alone right now, does not mean, in any way, that I am going to be alone forever. Just because someone is single and not actively searching for a partner, has no jurisdiction how their future will play out. For instance, I’m not looking for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to dating if someone comes along.


If you are single, there is nothing wrong with you. It gets lonely sometimes. Every once in awhile you’ll wake up at night, wishing someone was next to you. At any moment you might see a couple holding hands and realize you want that. You might, during the holiday season, secretly hope that next year you’ll be spending it with someone you love, instead of being surrounded by other couples. I can’t promise you that some nights, it won’t suck. But understand that doesn't mean, at all, that there is something that is wrong with you. Or that there isn't other things in your life that can make you happy.


Just because you don’t have someone right now, doesn’t mean you won’t later down the road. Remember that being alone, helps you better understand who you are. When you understand yourself, it helps you understand the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t settle. Someone is out there that you will love unconditionally. For now, enjoy having all of the blankets and the bed to yourself, to spread out like a starfish. Embrace every happiness you feel, because you know that you can be happy on your own. You’ll never fully appreciate what it is to be with someone, unless you can understand what it is like without them. Find yourself, so that you can one day find them. But don’t rush.


And for any of you, who for some reason, feel like it’s your job to help others that aren’t in a relationship like you are. Please understand, you might makes someone feel bad if you are constantly trying to fix them up with other people, or questioning their social life. Love them for who they are, and be there for them in what ever way they want you to be. Because if you are their friend, or family member, you are the most important people in their life right now, who they care for. No one wants to feel like someone they love, thinks that their standing in life right now, is not adequate.


Life is a marvelous and wonderful thing. That, although has some bad ingredients to it, is filled with beautiful moments and characteristics. Love is out there. You’ll find it in time. If you are alone, enjoy the little blessings you have around you and just be happy with what have right now. If you are not alone, appreciate the person you’re with. Don’t take love for granted.

Life is a journey, embrace every step.