(Vent) Freaking out...

This isn't what I expected...maybe I should of guessed.

I guessed I would cry before and when I finally said the words...
I was right

I guessed that I would cry myself to sleep for the first few nights...
I was right.

I guessed it would be hard to see you...
I was right.

But...

I didn't guess that when I saw you, how badly I would want to hold your hand.
I didn't guess that I would still wake up thinking of you.
I didn't guess that everything would remind me of you.
And I didn't guess it would hurt this much.

I sound depressed when honestly I'm really not.It is very hard to explain... I am still living my life, having fun with my friends, and laughing all the time.

It's just he became apart of my life and its like living life with something missing. (Holy crap I really sound like a sappy love movie, but I don't know how else to explain it.)
We both still like each other, and I still want to be with him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and feel like breaking up with him was a mistake.

Everyone else just loves to jump in and tell me I was right, that it is better this way, and that this is what needed to happen. (When really these same people were the ones saying, "You guys are so cute." "You guys need to be with each other" GAH get out of my head) Honestly I know this probably is the best choice. That this is the best thing for both of us...
But is it suppose to hurt this much if its the best thing?
I dont know...

It is scary to think of him dating other people...
It is scary to think of me dating other people...

The truth is, if we really did like each other we can pick it back up later on... hopefully.

But I am freaking out!
I just needed to write it out where my friends wouldn't read...
GAHHHHH Seriously....