Have you ever heard the saying, "What are friends for?"
Well an obvious answer came to mind...friends are suppose to stick there by your side through thick and thin. Correct?
Then why is it that when you have a group of friends(where of course there will be conflicting dilemmas) at the worst times right in the middle of all the chaos, we tend to turn against each other?
For instance, two of the friends in the group have a fight, what happens? Usually sides are taken, words are spoken, and then everything goes crashing down the never ending cliff.
Friends are not only suppose to stand by each other when they are hurt, but also when they make mistakes, dumb mistakes, and the worst moves. Because everyone at some point will say the worst things, let their emotions fly a tad but too freely, and loose themselves for awhile.
Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn't give you the right to talk bad about them behind their back, or leave them hanging...alone.
A real friend would care enough to suck it up, let it go, and just be there for each them, cause what are friends for right?
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Someday It Will Be Worth It...
"Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together."
~ Unknown
I remember in the past saying that it was only goodbye for now, that if it was meant to be we would find ourselves together once more. I knew that we would go separate ways, that things would never be the same again.
I watched you move on so fast, leaving the words you left me with, empty and hollow with a meaningless shell. I sat there as I saw your eyes so happy looking into the eyes of someone else. And I knew that, all I ever was, was just some girl you had a crush on.
I fell harder than I should of...
I held on hopelessly...
It tried moving on, I got so close but you were still there. I hated it, because I sat there pretending that I was fine, that I had moved on. When really...I wasn't.
They say if you really care about someone, you won't stand in the way of letting them be happy...Even if it means hurting yourself instead. I figured out that means you might hurt longer then expected.
I do know that, even though it hurts in the end, which is far away, it will be worth it.
Worth the heart break, the nights crying myself to sleep, the pain of watching people I like being with someone else rubbed in my face...someday it will be worth it...even if it doesn't seem like it right now.
~ Unknown
I remember in the past saying that it was only goodbye for now, that if it was meant to be we would find ourselves together once more. I knew that we would go separate ways, that things would never be the same again.
I watched you move on so fast, leaving the words you left me with, empty and hollow with a meaningless shell. I sat there as I saw your eyes so happy looking into the eyes of someone else. And I knew that, all I ever was, was just some girl you had a crush on.
I fell harder than I should of...
I held on hopelessly...
It tried moving on, I got so close but you were still there. I hated it, because I sat there pretending that I was fine, that I had moved on. When really...I wasn't.
They say if you really care about someone, you won't stand in the way of letting them be happy...Even if it means hurting yourself instead. I figured out that means you might hurt longer then expected.
I do know that, even though it hurts in the end, which is far away, it will be worth it.
Worth the heart break, the nights crying myself to sleep, the pain of watching people I like being with someone else rubbed in my face...someday it will be worth it...even if it doesn't seem like it right now.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Look back...
I watch as the tear falls from her cheek. Time keeps ticking, but in that moment everything stops for what seems like minutes.She was her best friend, the person she confided everything with. She was my friend as well. So when I looked down and saw all our feet huddled around in a circle, a painful lump started in my throat when I had to accept that there was a set of feet missing.
Time will never stop, no matter how hard you wish it would.
Time will never reverse, so you could fix the things you wish I could.
The fact is, people will come and go in our life, and it won't necessarily be an easy ride. Life is tricky, nothing is for certain, and time is never set in stone. One second everything is fine, when the next second a person you care about could be gone forever.
What I am trying to get at is, take every second you've got and make something out of it. Take chances, laugh, and cry. Take every day like it is your last, because one day it might. Make sure that when that one day does comes, you can look back and and not regret the time you had...
Saturday, November 5, 2011
When...
"I'm standing in the rain, as my hair falls in my face.
It's hard to see, like a hazey window pane....
I can't see in front of me
If in my future it's you I see..."
I've said that if you really like someone, then they are worth the wait...
A question came across my mind recently that brought me back to this certain subject. Patience is a virtue right? But after how many disappointments, hopes crushed, and heart breaking events does the virtue of patience turns to hopelessness.
This, I do not have a perfect answer to, or an answer at all. When you are young you never know if the person you are falling for is the right person. Because, you will fall in love, break your heart, and cry numerous times in your life. It is just life, cause you never know if your falling for the right person till you give them a chance.
This though, does not leave my question answered.
If you fall for someone who at the moment does not have the mutual feeling, when is it worth holding on, and when is it time to moving on?
How can you ever be sure?
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Today you can cry...
Sometimes all we can do is just stare at the mess we've made. Not that we want to, but as we see are mistakes bright and clear in front of our face, never to be reversed, replayed, or undone, all we can do is stare. We realize just how much we messed up, wishing and praying we could go back in time and undo everything we did...but we can't. It puts us in a state of mind where we feel like we are just sitting in the cold rain pour of a stormy day. Where the pain hurts so much that the icy drops sliding down your cheek is the only thing that makes sense.
Things are going to happen that you will wish never did...
You are going to make mistakes that will change your life...
And at somepoint, you will feel that pain that you think will never go away...
I could say that in time, things will get better. But at times like this, where it hurts so much just to think, no one want to hear the cliche future. You want to understand about right now...
All I can say is, don't be afraid to cry. There will be times in your life where being strong is just being dumb. Smile till you mean it...but don't be afraid to cry. As long as you realize that your life is not going to end right now, but for now the only thing that makes you feel better is to cry or to stick ear buds in your ear and listen to music...do it.
Tomorrow will always come, but today you can cry...
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Rain...
"I watch the rain slide down my wind like tears across ones cheek.
I hear the thunder and lightning crack against the dark gray sky that is now hugging my home
The rain falls fast and hard, striking the ground Fiercely yet lightly.
My world stops for a moment as I watch the storm, and for that moment I am at peace.
Peace with the world, myself and everyone around me. For I know that after the storm will come the sun, and the rainbow.
After the storm will come the smell that warms my soul, my heart and my body. The smell of the earth right after rain.
With another boom and crack from the sky above, I close my eyes and listen...
For the world is fresh once more."
I love the rain. Its tear drops that fall from the dark and luminous clouds, that hover about our homes. I am one who loves the feel of the rain fall onto my skin, the feel of the touch slide down my cheek and my hair. Rain storms are like the climax of a story, where you know that after all the chaos, the screams and heartbreak, everything will be alright. The sun will come out, the rain will dry, and the world and your life will go back to normal.
I will listen to the storms, hear the beat of the rain against my window, and the wind outside harshly blow. I don't feel scared, or alone, but peace in my mind and body slowly relax like the gentle waves on a beach shore. For I know that, everything will be okay. Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not today, but the rain will always brings a rainbow. The rain will always brings the sun. It just takes time...
Rain...
It is not a scary thing, or a dangerous thing... for darkness doesn't always mean something bad...
Rain...it's hope
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The little Twinks...
People will always tell you to look at the deeper meaning of life and all it holds within it. To look farther then you normally would, to find the beauty and pure uniqueness in the things around you. This my dear friends is very true. There is so much wonder and fascination when you read between the lines and look farther then what is right in front of you. To look into deep depth of everyday occurrences. Life has so much to offer and to show to us, if only we would take the time to look.
Beauty is all around us if you look hard enough, but there is just one problem. We get use to the fact that life never seems to come easy. That the simple things tend to slip away from our ever complex minds. Once we start looking for the deeper meanings in everyday things, we often forget to look at the obvious little twinks of beauty that lay right before our eyes. If only we would just look, and truly look.
Like anyone, when we lay out our life and all that is in it, before us, we know that life is not easy. life throws curve balls and painful events smack down the middle of our path, where you have to take the long road out. That now, we almost feel as if simple beauty is just to easy, like there is some kind of catch,but that's not always the way it is.
The world is filled to the brim with beauty...you just have to take that extra second to see the obvious an the deep...
Sunday, October 9, 2011
Are you afraid to die...
"Are you afraid to die?"
Have you ever been asked that question? Thought about it? Asked it to someone else?
At some point I am sure that everyone has thought about it. Everyone's life will come to an end at some point or another. So it is almost a simple question, but deserves a complex thought to answer honestly.
In my own opinion, I would answer saying that I am not sure. There are so many things I want to have done before my final seconds finally tick away, never to come back.
I want to get married.
Hold my own child in my arms.
Go places.
There is so many things I want and wish to do.
But...I am not afraid to die either. If my time comes it comes. There is nothing I can do if my life clock runs out of time. No matter how much I scream, plead, or cry, if my time is up, it's up. The only thing I am afraid of is not letting myself be heard. Not letting my friends and family know how much they mean to me. Taking the time I have right now, and to make the best of it. Not only with my friends, but also with my family.
When those last seconds come, it is not going to matter how much clothes or shoes I have. It is not going to matter how much money I have or if I have the latest electronic device. It is going to matter how many laughs I've shared, times I've cried, and memories I have made. Those nights, adventures, and memories makers are what really count.
If I take the time I have and do everything I can to make the best of it...when my times comes, I won't be afraid...
I'll be happy that I have lived...not that I've died
Have you ever been asked that question? Thought about it? Asked it to someone else?
At some point I am sure that everyone has thought about it. Everyone's life will come to an end at some point or another. So it is almost a simple question, but deserves a complex thought to answer honestly.
In my own opinion, I would answer saying that I am not sure. There are so many things I want to have done before my final seconds finally tick away, never to come back.
I want to get married.
Hold my own child in my arms.
Go places.
There is so many things I want and wish to do.
But...I am not afraid to die either. If my time comes it comes. There is nothing I can do if my life clock runs out of time. No matter how much I scream, plead, or cry, if my time is up, it's up. The only thing I am afraid of is not letting myself be heard. Not letting my friends and family know how much they mean to me. Taking the time I have right now, and to make the best of it. Not only with my friends, but also with my family.
When those last seconds come, it is not going to matter how much clothes or shoes I have. It is not going to matter how much money I have or if I have the latest electronic device. It is going to matter how many laughs I've shared, times I've cried, and memories I have made. Those nights, adventures, and memories makers are what really count.
If I take the time I have and do everything I can to make the best of it...when my times comes, I won't be afraid...
I'll be happy that I have lived...not that I've died
Saturday, October 8, 2011
He is Worth the Wait...
"Loving someone means you only want the best for him even if it means swallowing the sad reality that the best just isn’t you."
~Unknown
You can say you really care about a person, but you don't really mean it until you start putting them first before yourself. Life isn't about always getting what you want. Its about making sure the people you care about come first, not you.
There might be a time in your life where you are falling in love with someone that is in love with someone else. You sit there listening about how they found this amazing person who makes them feel so...special. While you sit there and smile, even though you are dying inside.
Here is the thing, if you honestly care about this person, and this other girl makes them happy. Then you should care more about them being happy, which means that sometimes that means you will have to suck it up even if it hurts. It will hurt, hearing him talk about this, and all you can do is try to be the best friend as you can and support him.
And if you truly like him, then they are worth the wait...
~Unknown
You can say you really care about a person, but you don't really mean it until you start putting them first before yourself. Life isn't about always getting what you want. Its about making sure the people you care about come first, not you.
There might be a time in your life where you are falling in love with someone that is in love with someone else. You sit there listening about how they found this amazing person who makes them feel so...special. While you sit there and smile, even though you are dying inside.
Here is the thing, if you honestly care about this person, and this other girl makes them happy. Then you should care more about them being happy, which means that sometimes that means you will have to suck it up even if it hurts. It will hurt, hearing him talk about this, and all you can do is try to be the best friend as you can and support him.
And if you truly like him, then they are worth the wait...
Monday, October 3, 2011
Live it for yourself...
"The tragedy of life is not that it ends so soon, but that we wait so long to begin it."
- W. M. Lewis
People will say that life is so short, that no one has a chance to fully live. The way I see it is, we are given this life to do with it how we choose. The problem here is, not that we aren't given enough time, but that it is the fact it takes us so long to start living our life.
Come on people, stop watching life from the side lines. The quote, " Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." ~Dean James, sums it up.
We will never know when we are going to die. But when we do, I think it would be easier dying knowing that you lived a good life, then missing chances and living with regrets. Take chances, have fun, and never let an opportunity slip you by. Don't just dream but make it reality. It is your life, but it isn't yours till you take the first step forward.
~Ideas to live by~
-Take chances. Don't sit and watch the people around you. Sometimes doing things that are out of your comfort zone, is where the best moments of your life will stem from
-Take pictures everyday. Sounds geeky or lame? Well, pictures are worth a thousand words right? You never know what you are going to be doing in 5 years, but The pictures are things you can keep forever that connects you back to your past and back to your memories.
-Always have a smile and don't let the past weigh you down. Everyone holds grudges at some point but hey, don't. When you let the grudge stay with you, you can never fully experience life. Please, think about it. When you are wrapped up on who screwed you over, or crossed you, you are two focused on that then what is going on around you right now!
-Fake a smile till it is a good day. I know that some days it hurts so much to smile, and you just want to cry. But I ask you this, try to fake a smile, keep your mind open, and let the chance that something will get better.
Your life will only start meaning something when you start living it for yourself.
- W. M. Lewis
People will say that life is so short, that no one has a chance to fully live. The way I see it is, we are given this life to do with it how we choose. The problem here is, not that we aren't given enough time, but that it is the fact it takes us so long to start living our life.
Come on people, stop watching life from the side lines. The quote, " Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die tomorrow." ~Dean James, sums it up.
We will never know when we are going to die. But when we do, I think it would be easier dying knowing that you lived a good life, then missing chances and living with regrets. Take chances, have fun, and never let an opportunity slip you by. Don't just dream but make it reality. It is your life, but it isn't yours till you take the first step forward.
~Ideas to live by~
-Take chances. Don't sit and watch the people around you. Sometimes doing things that are out of your comfort zone, is where the best moments of your life will stem from
-Take pictures everyday. Sounds geeky or lame? Well, pictures are worth a thousand words right? You never know what you are going to be doing in 5 years, but The pictures are things you can keep forever that connects you back to your past and back to your memories.
-Always have a smile and don't let the past weigh you down. Everyone holds grudges at some point but hey, don't. When you let the grudge stay with you, you can never fully experience life. Please, think about it. When you are wrapped up on who screwed you over, or crossed you, you are two focused on that then what is going on around you right now!
-Fake a smile till it is a good day. I know that some days it hurts so much to smile, and you just want to cry. But I ask you this, try to fake a smile, keep your mind open, and let the chance that something will get better.
Your life will only start meaning something when you start living it for yourself.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Don't be afraid to cry...
"Even when a day comes where it hurts to smile, feels good to cry, and hard to move forward...know that in time tomorrow will always come."
You know those days where it's just like everything starts to go wrong? You wake up late, you spill your cereal or a drink all over you, and you just can't seem to do anything right?
There are so many things that can go wrong and for some weird circumstance they all happen in the same day.
These are the days where you know that you have to fake a smile, but it hurts. Where you pretend to still be in a good mood when honestly, you wish you could just lay in the rain and cry. Where crying feels like the only way that some of the weight on your shoulders and chest will fade away.
I am going to be clear and to the point here. Those days suck. Yes I just said suck on a blog. Think it is unprofessional? Well it is the truth and I will bet that you all feel the way. I mean come on, please, when a day comes around like this I am pretty sure you don't say, wow this day is....and start reciting a huge vocabulary with educational words from the dictionary. Yeah, if you do then, okay...good?
I mean I look around and I can see everything crashing down in front of me, my past haunting me, and everything else fading away.
The things is, today will pass and tomorrow will come. Not saying everything will just magically get better but they will start to ease...and just by the way, don't be scared to cry.
You know those days where it's just like everything starts to go wrong? You wake up late, you spill your cereal or a drink all over you, and you just can't seem to do anything right?
There are so many things that can go wrong and for some weird circumstance they all happen in the same day.
These are the days where you know that you have to fake a smile, but it hurts. Where you pretend to still be in a good mood when honestly, you wish you could just lay in the rain and cry. Where crying feels like the only way that some of the weight on your shoulders and chest will fade away.
I am going to be clear and to the point here. Those days suck. Yes I just said suck on a blog. Think it is unprofessional? Well it is the truth and I will bet that you all feel the way. I mean come on, please, when a day comes around like this I am pretty sure you don't say, wow this day is....and start reciting a huge vocabulary with educational words from the dictionary. Yeah, if you do then, okay...good?
I mean I look around and I can see everything crashing down in front of me, my past haunting me, and everything else fading away.
The things is, today will pass and tomorrow will come. Not saying everything will just magically get better but they will start to ease...and just by the way, don't be scared to cry.
Friday, September 23, 2011
Funny story I guess...
The honest truth is, There are millions upon millions of people that have a worse dealt hand then me. I know that, and there will be people who will read this blog then murmur and say nasty things. I understand this, that this is a fact. Just know that this blog is my personal journal, my thoughts about stuff, or I just need to get something off my mind. But hey, if there is anyone that reads it and likes this blog, whether they think it is interesting, or something they can relate to that is wonderful too.
So to continue....
I have somewhat of a funny story to tell about today.
So today was the homecoming carnival. Booths everywhere, food, junk food, games, hats, clothes, EVERYTHING! It was truly amazing. I was walking around with my friends, tasting some food here, watching some kids try to sumo wrestle here, or watching these kids getting dunked into water. Well my friends and I walk up to this Spanish booth, and we see kids stuffing Jalapeno peppers into his mouth. Entertaining right? Well, I guess the booth was doing is you try to eat as many jalapeno peppers as you can in 1 minute. It seemed very difficult since we were seeing football players crying over these big green jalapeno peppers. Like oh my bejoshua this seems excruciating.
Well my friend and I finally get up the courage to do a face off between him and I. I feel like I have to beat him cause I am a girl and I need to represent! He is overly confident that he is going to win because...well...he is a guy.
So they say go and I get one pepper down easy. And I thought, Wow that wasn't that hard at all! It wasn't till the second one did the burning slowly start to occur, but I kept on going. By the 3 pepper, my mouth and throat were burning. I would bite the pepper and the juice would splatter and pour into my mouth like an exploding volcano. As the juice would slowly drip drip drip down my throat the burning would slowly begin.
At 45 seconds I had 3 peppers down. I had to get a 4th, I just had to. So I grab this decently large pepper and just bite it down. The timer had rung and in the end I beat my friend 4 peppers - 2 1/2.
Total like in your face victory right...? Wrong, by this time the burning effect had reached its full momentum and the tears were rolling down both of our faces. I throats tasted like nasty fire, and our stomachs swished and turned to the stinging punch.
I got a lot of cheers from girls and guys. It was pretty fun...except...I spent the next 20 minutes in the bathroom throwing up.
I guess the lesson to be learned in this post is a very DUH- lesson. DO NOT try to eat a huge amount of jalapenos in one minute. It will come and sting you right back.
So to continue....
I have somewhat of a funny story to tell about today.
So today was the homecoming carnival. Booths everywhere, food, junk food, games, hats, clothes, EVERYTHING! It was truly amazing. I was walking around with my friends, tasting some food here, watching some kids try to sumo wrestle here, or watching these kids getting dunked into water. Well my friends and I walk up to this Spanish booth, and we see kids stuffing Jalapeno peppers into his mouth. Entertaining right? Well, I guess the booth was doing is you try to eat as many jalapeno peppers as you can in 1 minute. It seemed very difficult since we were seeing football players crying over these big green jalapeno peppers. Like oh my bejoshua this seems excruciating.
Well my friend and I finally get up the courage to do a face off between him and I. I feel like I have to beat him cause I am a girl and I need to represent! He is overly confident that he is going to win because...well...he is a guy.
So they say go and I get one pepper down easy. And I thought, Wow that wasn't that hard at all! It wasn't till the second one did the burning slowly start to occur, but I kept on going. By the 3 pepper, my mouth and throat were burning. I would bite the pepper and the juice would splatter and pour into my mouth like an exploding volcano. As the juice would slowly drip drip drip down my throat the burning would slowly begin.
At 45 seconds I had 3 peppers down. I had to get a 4th, I just had to. So I grab this decently large pepper and just bite it down. The timer had rung and in the end I beat my friend 4 peppers - 2 1/2.
Total like in your face victory right...? Wrong, by this time the burning effect had reached its full momentum and the tears were rolling down both of our faces. I throats tasted like nasty fire, and our stomachs swished and turned to the stinging punch.
I got a lot of cheers from girls and guys. It was pretty fun...except...I spent the next 20 minutes in the bathroom throwing up.
I guess the lesson to be learned in this post is a very DUH- lesson. DO NOT try to eat a huge amount of jalapenos in one minute. It will come and sting you right back.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Someday...
Someday...
That is the word that is repeated so many times everyday...
Someday I will be...
Someday I can....
Someday my life will change...
We all say it, and we all mean it. It is the thought that gives us hope, gives us passion, gives us a reason to move on in our life. Someday is like a dream that we are so close we can almost touch. People everyday hope and imagine a future where everything will work out. That maybe not right now, but that one day things will change or become something amazing.
Someday can mean almost anything, a change in life, an achievement, almost anything, because we as a people know that just because things are crappy now, or not where we want it to be. Doesn't mean it's going to stay this way.
Someday things will change.
Someday I will make something of myself.
Someday I will be the me I want to be.
That is the word that is repeated so many times everyday...
Someday I will be...
Someday I can....
Someday my life will change...
We all say it, and we all mean it. It is the thought that gives us hope, gives us passion, gives us a reason to move on in our life. Someday is like a dream that we are so close we can almost touch. People everyday hope and imagine a future where everything will work out. That maybe not right now, but that one day things will change or become something amazing.
Someday can mean almost anything, a change in life, an achievement, almost anything, because we as a people know that just because things are crappy now, or not where we want it to be. Doesn't mean it's going to stay this way.
Someday things will change.
Someday I will make something of myself.
Someday I will be the me I want to be.
Saturday, September 3, 2011
It is how we grow...
"One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering."
~Unknown
Sometimes in life we tend to feel like we are just given the worst opportunities, the worst trials, and the worst consequences. Everyday that comes seems to tear us apart, knock us down, and question who we really are.Like I have said in past post... Life isn't fair, but what can you do about it? What happened yesterday happened. What happened today happened. And whatever happens tomorrow will happen. It is just fact...
People (Including myself), always get wrapped up in the past, in our mistakes, and just won't let it go. We let the negative experiences linger on, wrapping tightly around our life. The problem with this is, yeah crap happens, but what are you going to do to make the best of what you've got. If you can't change the past, why do you keep letting it take you down instead of living today the best you can.
Life is never perfect, and never will be, but you can always take a bad situations and make something new come out of it.
Now please don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying forget, and I am not saying that in every situation there is a way to shape it into something truly amazing. Because to be honest, There are some trials out there that are just too drastic to just smile and say you're fine. In life you are allowed to cry, allowed to care. What I am saying is... just make the best can out of what you have...
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
~Peace Pilgrim
When we finally except the situation as it is, and understand there is nothing you can do to change the past, maybe then you can realize that the only way to go now... is forward. That means, making the best out of your situation, and taking your mistakes and learning how to adapt to the change.
Life isn't easy or fair, because no one is perfect. We make mistakes, we make dumb choices, but that is how we learn.
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
~Barry LePatner
Your life doesn't end after one mistake, or many at that. It doesn't end when trial after trial is thrown at you. Life doesn't end just because everything changes. The honest truth is, we just have to get back up after the fight and keep moving. The road might be different and might have a new ending, But that is the best part about life.
Life is an open ended book... everything can be looked at differently from another angle.
~Unknown
Sometimes in life we tend to feel like we are just given the worst opportunities, the worst trials, and the worst consequences. Everyday that comes seems to tear us apart, knock us down, and question who we really are.Like I have said in past post... Life isn't fair, but what can you do about it? What happened yesterday happened. What happened today happened. And whatever happens tomorrow will happen. It is just fact...
People (Including myself), always get wrapped up in the past, in our mistakes, and just won't let it go. We let the negative experiences linger on, wrapping tightly around our life. The problem with this is, yeah crap happens, but what are you going to do to make the best of what you've got. If you can't change the past, why do you keep letting it take you down instead of living today the best you can.
Life is never perfect, and never will be, but you can always take a bad situations and make something new come out of it.
Now please don't take this the wrong way. I am not saying forget, and I am not saying that in every situation there is a way to shape it into something truly amazing. Because to be honest, There are some trials out there that are just too drastic to just smile and say you're fine. In life you are allowed to cry, allowed to care. What I am saying is... just make the best can out of what you have...
"When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others."
~Peace Pilgrim
When we finally except the situation as it is, and understand there is nothing you can do to change the past, maybe then you can realize that the only way to go now... is forward. That means, making the best out of your situation, and taking your mistakes and learning how to adapt to the change.
Life isn't easy or fair, because no one is perfect. We make mistakes, we make dumb choices, but that is how we learn.
"Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment."
~Barry LePatner
Your life doesn't end after one mistake, or many at that. It doesn't end when trial after trial is thrown at you. Life doesn't end just because everything changes. The honest truth is, we just have to get back up after the fight and keep moving. The road might be different and might have a new ending, But that is the best part about life.
Life is an open ended book... everything can be looked at differently from another angle.
Monday, August 29, 2011
I run to forget...
I am one who hates to run in general.
Don't get me wrong, I love to work out, and love to play sports. It is just that I am more of a swimmer and muscular type work out kind of gal then a cardio one.
I have found though... when I am in pain, stressed, or just trying to forget something that has been bothering me for sometime, No amount of work out in any area will help as much as running will.
I hate running...but I run to forget...and it works.
When I look back at you, even if I have let go on trying to hold on to the past, and I see how fast you moved on. Whether or not I still care, it hurts to realize that what I thought was something special back then in the moment, really wasn't. If it was, you wouldn't have already moved on so quickly. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, and I am happy for you at the same time, it's just I assumed something to be true when it wasn't.
I have to run... Running is the one thing that can get my mind off of the pain, off my mistakes ...off the memory of you.
To be honest I like you better as my friend...
The truth is...I don't like you anymore, I honestly don't.
I am so happy about who you are moving on to. Glad that she is sweet and cares about you and will never hurt you.
But even though this is true and it's in the past...it still kinda hurts whether I want it to or not.
So I run... I run to forget you...it works...at least for a little while...
I run to forget the pain...
I run to forget the stress...
I run to forget that this world is unfair to so many people...
I run so that later on I can be happy...
Don't get me wrong, I love to work out, and love to play sports. It is just that I am more of a swimmer and muscular type work out kind of gal then a cardio one.
I have found though... when I am in pain, stressed, or just trying to forget something that has been bothering me for sometime, No amount of work out in any area will help as much as running will.
I hate running...but I run to forget...and it works.
When I look back at you, even if I have let go on trying to hold on to the past, and I see how fast you moved on. Whether or not I still care, it hurts to realize that what I thought was something special back then in the moment, really wasn't. If it was, you wouldn't have already moved on so quickly. Doesn't mean you're a bad person, and I am happy for you at the same time, it's just I assumed something to be true when it wasn't.
I have to run... Running is the one thing that can get my mind off of the pain, off my mistakes ...off the memory of you.
To be honest I like you better as my friend...
The truth is...I don't like you anymore, I honestly don't.
I am so happy about who you are moving on to. Glad that she is sweet and cares about you and will never hurt you.
But even though this is true and it's in the past...it still kinda hurts whether I want it to or not.
So I run... I run to forget you...it works...at least for a little while...
I run to forget the pain...
I run to forget the stress...
I run to forget that this world is unfair to so many people...
I run so that later on I can be happy...
Monday, August 22, 2011
What would you say....
Now let me start off just saying I respect everyone's religion views and beliefs. When it comes to a person's life, they make their own decisions that are different form mine, because we are different people with different views and ideas. I respect that, so I ask you to respect mine as well.
Today I was thinking over different questions I have heard from different people in the past. One of those questions that still has stuck to me was, "If someone held you at gun point and said to deny your religion and beliefs, what would you say"?
Now of course everyone went silent. An adult, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, said, "Do it, because you are worth more alive then dead." Some people agreed which is understandable, but I couldn't help but say, " My beliefs are what create me. Denying my beliefs is denying myself and I would never do that, no matter the conditions. You don't let other people pressure you into changing who you are."
Call me thick headed or what ever you want, but what's the point of claiming you are your own person when you will let someone else manipulate you.
How I see it is...I am who I am and no one else can change that.
That one adult asked me a very simple question. "What use are you dead? You claim everyone has a plan...then why would you die instead of living it." Sharp come back huh...
But to me it was kinda simple..."I think everyone has a plan or a purpose here yes, but it can change everyday. We make choices that change our lives and change our future. Trust me when I say, I would much rather not be held at gun point...ever! But what I believe in is apart of me, of who I am, and giving it all up just because someone is threatening me, or trying to knock me down is like saying I don't have control of my life or my decisions. I am who I am, I believe in what I believe in...and am proud of it"
Now everyone went silent here. I don't know whether people agreed with me or thought I was insane. Either way, this was my own opinion.
What I am trying to get at I guess is...
You don't have to be at gun point (Which is insane and very dangerous) But don't let other people knock you down about you're beliefs, ideas, or who you are. Be proud of who you are. You are you... not them.
Today I was thinking over different questions I have heard from different people in the past. One of those questions that still has stuck to me was, "If someone held you at gun point and said to deny your religion and beliefs, what would you say"?
Now of course everyone went silent. An adult, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, said, "Do it, because you are worth more alive then dead." Some people agreed which is understandable, but I couldn't help but say, " My beliefs are what create me. Denying my beliefs is denying myself and I would never do that, no matter the conditions. You don't let other people pressure you into changing who you are."
Call me thick headed or what ever you want, but what's the point of claiming you are your own person when you will let someone else manipulate you.
How I see it is...I am who I am and no one else can change that.
That one adult asked me a very simple question. "What use are you dead? You claim everyone has a plan...then why would you die instead of living it." Sharp come back huh...
But to me it was kinda simple..."I think everyone has a plan or a purpose here yes, but it can change everyday. We make choices that change our lives and change our future. Trust me when I say, I would much rather not be held at gun point...ever! But what I believe in is apart of me, of who I am, and giving it all up just because someone is threatening me, or trying to knock me down is like saying I don't have control of my life or my decisions. I am who I am, I believe in what I believe in...and am proud of it"
Now everyone went silent here. I don't know whether people agreed with me or thought I was insane. Either way, this was my own opinion.
What I am trying to get at I guess is...
You don't have to be at gun point (Which is insane and very dangerous) But don't let other people knock you down about you're beliefs, ideas, or who you are. Be proud of who you are. You are you... not them.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Stuck...
Life seems to sometimes stop and give me a break.
But then I feel stuck with no give or take
I get so lost in my own head
wondering at every turn if I'm miss lead
I know that im stuck looking in the past
so I ask myself when will I let go at last.
I know that I have made the damage that is done.
I have to face my mistakes and know I cant run.
I still look at you and ask what do you want me to do
how do you expect me to move on when I am still inlove with you
But then I feel stuck with no give or take
I get so lost in my own head
wondering at every turn if I'm miss lead
I know that im stuck looking in the past
so I ask myself when will I let go at last.
I know that I have made the damage that is done.
I have to face my mistakes and know I cant run.
I still look at you and ask what do you want me to do
how do you expect me to move on when I am still inlove with you
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Call me crazy...
"It just takes time."
~Everyone you will ever meet.
That is the saying that everyone hates to hear, but is very true.
Life ,as I have repeated many times before, is very complicated in the eyes of both girls and guys. We all want to be on top, to be happy, and to live without a care or regret. But we all know very well, that it is just short of being impossible.
Things happen that knock us off our feet and make us act like a different person. We start to focus on the faults and we just loose focus on who we are. It happens, it's life.
We then have a choice... We either deal with our mistakes, or let them take over our life.
I don't know about you, but I would rather move on...cause it's better off.
I am not saying that I don't get sucked in, because I do.
I let a mistake or a hardship take over me and to be honest, during it I do not act like myself. I acted bi-polar when I really am not. Once I let it take over me I couldn't let go of whatever it was.
One day though, I woke up, but instead of over thinking things I made a choice. I decided to be myself, goof off, and just have a laugh. Why be so serious when there is no need to be? I found that just because I miss someone doesn't mean that I should let it effect me being me. I've done enough damage that it's time for me to just step back and let go...
Even if I miss someone, it doesn't mean they are gone forever...and sometimes its better to just let go then to try to get them back.
I don't know how many times I will have to learn this lesson, but hopefully one day it will stick...
Smile...it might just be a good day(:
~Everyone you will ever meet.
That is the saying that everyone hates to hear, but is very true.
Life ,as I have repeated many times before, is very complicated in the eyes of both girls and guys. We all want to be on top, to be happy, and to live without a care or regret. But we all know very well, that it is just short of being impossible.
Things happen that knock us off our feet and make us act like a different person. We start to focus on the faults and we just loose focus on who we are. It happens, it's life.
We then have a choice... We either deal with our mistakes, or let them take over our life.
I don't know about you, but I would rather move on...cause it's better off.
I am not saying that I don't get sucked in, because I do.
I let a mistake or a hardship take over me and to be honest, during it I do not act like myself. I acted bi-polar when I really am not. Once I let it take over me I couldn't let go of whatever it was.
One day though, I woke up, but instead of over thinking things I made a choice. I decided to be myself, goof off, and just have a laugh. Why be so serious when there is no need to be? I found that just because I miss someone doesn't mean that I should let it effect me being me. I've done enough damage that it's time for me to just step back and let go...
Even if I miss someone, it doesn't mean they are gone forever...and sometimes its better to just let go then to try to get them back.
I don't know how many times I will have to learn this lesson, but hopefully one day it will stick...
Smile...it might just be a good day(:
Saturday, August 13, 2011
How do you know....
How do you know when you are too late?
How do you know if he still likes you?
How do you know If you can get a second chance?
How do you know if its over?
How do you know...if he still loves you?
When you figure it out tell me...cause I don't know.
How do you know if he still likes you?
How do you know If you can get a second chance?
How do you know if its over?
How do you know...if he still loves you?
When you figure it out tell me...cause I don't know.
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I am such an IDIOT...
Have you ever made a decision or choice that later on you come to find out it was a mistake, that it didn't have to happen that way?
Well I have...
The fact I have to remember is... that I made a choice that I can't go back and change. So really, I just have to live with it.
So here is what happened.
I really cared about this guy. (haha you know teen love kinda thing). He was amazing. He was one of those guys that are hard to find. He was caring, sweet, listened to me, made me laugh, and in short made me a lot happier then I have been in awhile. I had no Idea how I could deserve such a guy.
Here was the problem... we now go to different schools. When we couldn't talk, or he couldn't hang, he would beat himself up, because he felt like such a bad person when he wasn't.
I felt like because I was there, he was in pain. When we saw each other we were happy, but when we weren't... he was hurting. Then I thought to myself... We won't see each other much during school and if he is hurting now, then when school starts it will hurt him a lot more...
I cared to much for him to hurt that much.
Well here comes to the point where I realized I made a HUGE mistake!
I was thinking about the year, and was talking about my plans.
I was going to the freshman football games on fridays.
Going to all the band performances because I promised a friend I would.
All the freshman basketball home games.
All the snds.
I kept naming off all these things where I would see him, not on purpose, but I would see him. The truth is...I will see him more during this school year then I ever did this summer summer.
And it hit me...I made a huge mistake.
I lost a guy that I really cared about, who was amazing, and everything I could of asked for...and I lost him or a dumb move...good intentions, but dumb move...
I feel like an idiot, not going to lie.
And I can't ask for him back...
and he will never ask me out again because he thinks I wouldn't say yes or moved on...
Truth is, if he asked for me back I would say yes...
but the other truth is...he won't....
I have to live with the choices I made...the smart and the dumb...
Well I have...
The fact I have to remember is... that I made a choice that I can't go back and change. So really, I just have to live with it.
So here is what happened.
I really cared about this guy. (haha you know teen love kinda thing). He was amazing. He was one of those guys that are hard to find. He was caring, sweet, listened to me, made me laugh, and in short made me a lot happier then I have been in awhile. I had no Idea how I could deserve such a guy.
Here was the problem... we now go to different schools. When we couldn't talk, or he couldn't hang, he would beat himself up, because he felt like such a bad person when he wasn't.
I felt like because I was there, he was in pain. When we saw each other we were happy, but when we weren't... he was hurting. Then I thought to myself... We won't see each other much during school and if he is hurting now, then when school starts it will hurt him a lot more...
I cared to much for him to hurt that much.
Well here comes to the point where I realized I made a HUGE mistake!
I was thinking about the year, and was talking about my plans.
I was going to the freshman football games on fridays.
Going to all the band performances because I promised a friend I would.
All the freshman basketball home games.
All the snds.
I kept naming off all these things where I would see him, not on purpose, but I would see him. The truth is...I will see him more during this school year then I ever did this summer summer.
And it hit me...I made a huge mistake.
I lost a guy that I really cared about, who was amazing, and everything I could of asked for...and I lost him or a dumb move...good intentions, but dumb move...
I feel like an idiot, not going to lie.
And I can't ask for him back...
and he will never ask me out again because he thinks I wouldn't say yes or moved on...
Truth is, if he asked for me back I would say yes...
but the other truth is...he won't....
I have to live with the choices I made...the smart and the dumb...
Monday, August 8, 2011
To forget....
"Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go."
~Unknown
I've tried so many things to get you out of my mind. I have tried hard workouts, swimming, and running, and I know it ended without an end, but I have to remember why I did it. Seeing you do the exact thing I wanted...to move on... I don't know... It just hurts more then I thought.
The thing here is that to not get in the way. This was the thing I wanted. I wanted you to be happy, to move on, even if it hurt me. Now the only way to let this happen, is to try to forget you, to get you as far away from my mind as I can. Because I see you, hear you, and I get the picture of you falling for someone else and forgetting about how you use to look at me.
I want you to move on yet not at the same time. But to do that I can't care this much, not about you, not if I want you to move on so you can be happy...
I Need you out of my head...
Your in my head every day and every night...
This has to end... I have to get you out of my head, mind, and thought...for this to work... I want to have fun and be happy too. So for now I need to let you go... until later...
No matter how hard it is to forget... it's better then the pain it brings if I don't...
~Unknown
I've tried so many things to get you out of my mind. I have tried hard workouts, swimming, and running, and I know it ended without an end, but I have to remember why I did it. Seeing you do the exact thing I wanted...to move on... I don't know... It just hurts more then I thought.
The thing here is that to not get in the way. This was the thing I wanted. I wanted you to be happy, to move on, even if it hurt me. Now the only way to let this happen, is to try to forget you, to get you as far away from my mind as I can. Because I see you, hear you, and I get the picture of you falling for someone else and forgetting about how you use to look at me.
I want you to move on yet not at the same time. But to do that I can't care this much, not about you, not if I want you to move on so you can be happy...
I Need you out of my head...
Your in my head every day and every night...
This has to end... I have to get you out of my head, mind, and thought...for this to work... I want to have fun and be happy too. So for now I need to let you go... until later...
No matter how hard it is to forget... it's better then the pain it brings if I don't...
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Today (just a thought)....
Today was by far a great and interesting day!
I woke up very early and went for an hour and a half run around the canyon. I was blasting my ipod in my ears because it tends to help me when my thoughts are messed up. Then when I got to the canyon and the sun was rising something just stuck to me.
Life can suck, can be a blast, and can have unexpected moments. But in the end life's still a beautiful thing.
You might have to say goodbye to someone you really care about, but you still have your friends, and you can still smile.
Life can rain on you when you are wishing for the sun. But hey, you can always dance in the rain instead.
I guess what I noticed was... We will always think the grass is greener on the other side, but we have some good looking grass right where we are right now. Enjoy it for now...
I woke up very early and went for an hour and a half run around the canyon. I was blasting my ipod in my ears because it tends to help me when my thoughts are messed up. Then when I got to the canyon and the sun was rising something just stuck to me.
Life can suck, can be a blast, and can have unexpected moments. But in the end life's still a beautiful thing.
You might have to say goodbye to someone you really care about, but you still have your friends, and you can still smile.
Life can rain on you when you are wishing for the sun. But hey, you can always dance in the rain instead.
I guess what I noticed was... We will always think the grass is greener on the other side, but we have some good looking grass right where we are right now. Enjoy it for now...
Friday, August 5, 2011
Just sometimes...
"We read the world wrong and say that it deceives us."
~Rabindranth Tagore
We all as human beings tend to look at all our hardships and feel like life and the world has ripped us off. At some things, we even curse at the sky asking, "Why, what did I do to deserve this."
The truth is we really are dealt with things that are not fair. We are forced to go through trials we really don't want to, and there are times where we really just don't get why things happen to us when we did npthing to deserve it.
Iv'e thought it, guessing you've thought it, it just happens and is normal to think that.
The thing is, we get so wrapped up on the fact that we have been wronged we dont realize the things that come out of it.
I will give an example:
(A lot of people can relate to)
My parents got divorced when I was at a young age. I was so mad because I thought it was my fault when I didn't do anything wrong. At first with my friends, I was so obsessed with how it wronged me I wouldn't let go. I was very upset.
Later on though, my mom remarried and her new husband had to younger sons that became my step syblings. I have fun with them, having family trips, game nights, and just having them around. I can see now that both my parents are happier this way, and that it was better off that way...
What I am trying to get at is, Bad things happen to everyone...but there is something that always comes out of it. That down the line you realize that you're almost glad it happened.
Some times you just have to take what you get and make the best out of it...cause this is life...you never know whats going to happen.
~Rabindranth Tagore
We all as human beings tend to look at all our hardships and feel like life and the world has ripped us off. At some things, we even curse at the sky asking, "Why, what did I do to deserve this."
The truth is we really are dealt with things that are not fair. We are forced to go through trials we really don't want to, and there are times where we really just don't get why things happen to us when we did npthing to deserve it.
Iv'e thought it, guessing you've thought it, it just happens and is normal to think that.
The thing is, we get so wrapped up on the fact that we have been wronged we dont realize the things that come out of it.
I will give an example:
(A lot of people can relate to)
My parents got divorced when I was at a young age. I was so mad because I thought it was my fault when I didn't do anything wrong. At first with my friends, I was so obsessed with how it wronged me I wouldn't let go. I was very upset.
Later on though, my mom remarried and her new husband had to younger sons that became my step syblings. I have fun with them, having family trips, game nights, and just having them around. I can see now that both my parents are happier this way, and that it was better off that way...
What I am trying to get at is, Bad things happen to everyone...but there is something that always comes out of it. That down the line you realize that you're almost glad it happened.
Some times you just have to take what you get and make the best out of it...cause this is life...you never know whats going to happen.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Come on, life is right now...
"Talk to me if you wanna share a laugh,
Hang with me if you just wanna have a good time,
But don't bring me down over something that small."
-Me
I am always here when someone needs a hand, someone to vent to, or a shoulder to cry on. But I have come to realize that, life's no fun when you hang on to the small stuff or let someone else's drama effect you.
So when you have a problem you need help, you can come to me. I am always here.
But here is the thing... there is a difference between a problem you need help with and picking a fight with me. I mean seriously, use common sense.
Life is about living it as much as you can and putting as much life into your years as humanly possible. Right? Then I just want to do that very same thing.
Come on, have some fun! Don't hang on to the small things, which by the way if you look closer, most of the time is nothing or just you misinterpreted something...
Life is so much better when you let everything go and just bring a little fun into your life...
I am here to be a friend...Just don't take me down when your in a foul mood with no reason...I can't help you when your taking me down as well.
"Smile please...life's just around the corner if you let the small stuff go and let a little life back in..."
-Me (:
Hang with me if you just wanna have a good time,
But don't bring me down over something that small."
-Me
I am always here when someone needs a hand, someone to vent to, or a shoulder to cry on. But I have come to realize that, life's no fun when you hang on to the small stuff or let someone else's drama effect you.
So when you have a problem you need help, you can come to me. I am always here.
But here is the thing... there is a difference between a problem you need help with and picking a fight with me. I mean seriously, use common sense.
Life is about living it as much as you can and putting as much life into your years as humanly possible. Right? Then I just want to do that very same thing.
Come on, have some fun! Don't hang on to the small things, which by the way if you look closer, most of the time is nothing or just you misinterpreted something...
Life is so much better when you let everything go and just bring a little fun into your life...
I am here to be a friend...Just don't take me down when your in a foul mood with no reason...I can't help you when your taking me down as well.
"Smile please...life's just around the corner if you let the small stuff go and let a little life back in..."
-Me (:
Thursday, July 28, 2011
No one is going to keep me down....
So I have come to recognize a fault in me. It is very simple really. I start having this great life, where I am completely on top of the world, that nothing can go wrong, but after awhile my life starts to turn. I can't keep a hold of anything. I over think everything, and just loose who I am. It is almost like a loop that I keep going on, over and over again.
This time it's going to be different. I am not going to loose myself. I just have to keep telling myself, "Holy crap girl! Get a hold of yourself, stop thinking so much and just have some fun."
I know who I am, I know my standards, and I know where I want to go. I am not going to let people, changes, and speed bumps, keep me in a mess.
I am ready to go out, let go, take it in, and just be me.
No one is going to keep me down...not this time.
This time it's going to be different. I am not going to loose myself. I just have to keep telling myself, "Holy crap girl! Get a hold of yourself, stop thinking so much and just have some fun."
I know who I am, I know my standards, and I know where I want to go. I am not going to let people, changes, and speed bumps, keep me in a mess.
I am ready to go out, let go, take it in, and just be me.
No one is going to keep me down...not this time.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
(Vent) Freaking out...
This isn't what I expected...maybe I should of guessed.
I guessed I would cry before and when I finally said the words...
I was right
I guessed that I would cry myself to sleep for the first few nights...
I was right.
I guessed it would be hard to see you...
I was right.
But...
I didn't guess that when I saw you, how badly I would want to hold your hand.
I didn't guess that I would still wake up thinking of you.
I didn't guess that everything would remind me of you.
And I didn't guess it would hurt this much.
I sound depressed when honestly I'm really not.It is very hard to explain... I am still living my life, having fun with my friends, and laughing all the time.
It's just he became apart of my life and its like living life with something missing. (Holy crap I really sound like a sappy love movie, but I don't know how else to explain it.)
We both still like each other, and I still want to be with him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and feel like breaking up with him was a mistake.
Everyone else just loves to jump in and tell me I was right, that it is better this way, and that this is what needed to happen. (When really these same people were the ones saying, "You guys are so cute." "You guys need to be with each other" GAH get out of my head) Honestly I know this probably is the best choice. That this is the best thing for both of us...
But is it suppose to hurt this much if its the best thing?
I dont know...
It is scary to think of him dating other people...
It is scary to think of me dating other people...
The truth is, if we really did like each other we can pick it back up later on... hopefully.
But I am freaking out!
I just needed to write it out where my friends wouldn't read...
GAHHHHH Seriously....
I guessed I would cry before and when I finally said the words...
I was right
I guessed that I would cry myself to sleep for the first few nights...
I was right.
I guessed it would be hard to see you...
I was right.
But...
I didn't guess that when I saw you, how badly I would want to hold your hand.
I didn't guess that I would still wake up thinking of you.
I didn't guess that everything would remind me of you.
And I didn't guess it would hurt this much.
I sound depressed when honestly I'm really not.It is very hard to explain... I am still living my life, having fun with my friends, and laughing all the time.
It's just he became apart of my life and its like living life with something missing. (Holy crap I really sound like a sappy love movie, but I don't know how else to explain it.)
We both still like each other, and I still want to be with him. Every morning I wake up thinking of him and feel like breaking up with him was a mistake.
Everyone else just loves to jump in and tell me I was right, that it is better this way, and that this is what needed to happen. (When really these same people were the ones saying, "You guys are so cute." "You guys need to be with each other" GAH get out of my head) Honestly I know this probably is the best choice. That this is the best thing for both of us...
But is it suppose to hurt this much if its the best thing?
I dont know...
It is scary to think of him dating other people...
It is scary to think of me dating other people...
The truth is, if we really did like each other we can pick it back up later on... hopefully.
But I am freaking out!
I just needed to write it out where my friends wouldn't read...
GAHHHHH Seriously....
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Goodbye for now....
"I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, and even if it kills me- I’m going to smile."
~unknown
Sometimes in life you will find someone that makes you smile, makes your heart skip a beat every time you catch their eye, and creates a spot in your heart that will always be there. There will also be boulders on our path in life, that you have to make changes you don't want to.
I met someone and for the first time in awhile that I was able to put my guard down enough to let him in, to care so much about on person. He was sweet, caring, and a great guy. Every time I got to see him my heart seemed to pound so hard I could swear the people around me could hear. When he held my hand, every single time I got the butterflies in my stomach. He meant so much to me, and he actually cared about me. I believe that meeting him was one of the best things that could of happened me this year.
I didn't let go because I stopped liking him, or that he did anything wrong. The truth is...I didn't want to let go, or even thinking about him with anyone else. It's just in life... some of the best things come at the wrong time. Because of the time it happened, and the changes, even though I wanted it to work it couldn't...at least not for now...
Here's the deal though... have you ever heard the saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was always yours. If it doesn't, it was never was..." Life is a spontaneous confusing thing. Life might be short but it is long enough that down the line, the people you had to say goodbye to,well... you just never know, they could come back.
Just don't hang on to it, move on, be happy. You don't have to forget, but still live your life...and hey you never know what can happen, you might be able to pick up where you left off.
It could be just... goodbye for now....
~unknown
Sometimes in life you will find someone that makes you smile, makes your heart skip a beat every time you catch their eye, and creates a spot in your heart that will always be there. There will also be boulders on our path in life, that you have to make changes you don't want to.
I met someone and for the first time in awhile that I was able to put my guard down enough to let him in, to care so much about on person. He was sweet, caring, and a great guy. Every time I got to see him my heart seemed to pound so hard I could swear the people around me could hear. When he held my hand, every single time I got the butterflies in my stomach. He meant so much to me, and he actually cared about me. I believe that meeting him was one of the best things that could of happened me this year.
I didn't let go because I stopped liking him, or that he did anything wrong. The truth is...I didn't want to let go, or even thinking about him with anyone else. It's just in life... some of the best things come at the wrong time. Because of the time it happened, and the changes, even though I wanted it to work it couldn't...at least not for now...
Here's the deal though... have you ever heard the saying, "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back it was always yours. If it doesn't, it was never was..." Life is a spontaneous confusing thing. Life might be short but it is long enough that down the line, the people you had to say goodbye to,well... you just never know, they could come back.
Just don't hang on to it, move on, be happy. You don't have to forget, but still live your life...and hey you never know what can happen, you might be able to pick up where you left off.
It could be just... goodbye for now....
Monday, July 18, 2011
You can never tell...
"Behind my smile is a hurting heart. Behind my laugh, I'm falling apart. Look closely at me and you will see, the girl I am...isn't me."
~Unknown
You know, we can never understand a person till you look past their faults, walls, and their cover. Every person has a story, a life, and a past. Some choose to hide their past to cover up their pain and memories.
One of my best friends has dealt with pain, loss, foster care, the feeling of not being wanted by her family. She has had to mature faster then normal, because she wasn't dealt a normal life. The fact is, she tried to make a life out of the ruble of a fallen home. She didn't want to remember her past, her present, or what her future might hold. All she wanted to, was to try to live a normal life with her friends.
She covered up her pain by laughing at everything and to act like her life was perfect, that nothing was wrong. True, she fell some days, made mistakes, and broke down. People judged her without knowing her. They made fun of her, when they didn't know or care for the truth. My point is, they couldn't understand how she acted because they didn't know her.
She once said... "you know my name, not my story. you've heard what i've done, but not what i've been through."
The point I am trying to make is not that everyone is miss judged. But to have people realize that there is more then a person then their cover or their act. There are a lot of people who hide what they are really going through, and other people are quick to judge and look down on them.
Be honest have you ever faked a smile just to get through the day.
Lied to a friends face because you didn't want the questions like, "what's wrong" or the pittiness of others.
Pretended that nothing was wrong when really your whole life is crashing down at rock bottom.
Life isn't easy and we aren't making anyone else's life easier by judging them down. I mean, even if you think you know them well enough...you don't. You might be able to get a perspective or a good idea...but honestly you don't know what they are going through till you live their life, which you never can.
You can never tell what is in someones heart, till you understand everything else about them.
~Unknown
You know, we can never understand a person till you look past their faults, walls, and their cover. Every person has a story, a life, and a past. Some choose to hide their past to cover up their pain and memories.
One of my best friends has dealt with pain, loss, foster care, the feeling of not being wanted by her family. She has had to mature faster then normal, because she wasn't dealt a normal life. The fact is, she tried to make a life out of the ruble of a fallen home. She didn't want to remember her past, her present, or what her future might hold. All she wanted to, was to try to live a normal life with her friends.
She covered up her pain by laughing at everything and to act like her life was perfect, that nothing was wrong. True, she fell some days, made mistakes, and broke down. People judged her without knowing her. They made fun of her, when they didn't know or care for the truth. My point is, they couldn't understand how she acted because they didn't know her.
She once said... "you know my name, not my story. you've heard what i've done, but not what i've been through."
The point I am trying to make is not that everyone is miss judged. But to have people realize that there is more then a person then their cover or their act. There are a lot of people who hide what they are really going through, and other people are quick to judge and look down on them.
Be honest have you ever faked a smile just to get through the day.
Lied to a friends face because you didn't want the questions like, "what's wrong" or the pittiness of others.
Pretended that nothing was wrong when really your whole life is crashing down at rock bottom.
Life isn't easy and we aren't making anyone else's life easier by judging them down. I mean, even if you think you know them well enough...you don't. You might be able to get a perspective or a good idea...but honestly you don't know what they are going through till you live their life, which you never can.
You can never tell what is in someones heart, till you understand everything else about them.
Monday, July 11, 2011
Don't want to...
People Keep telling me to let you go, to break it off, and never look back...
But this is what I have found...
I don't want to let you go, because that would mean loosing the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me.
That the hurt of missing you when I can't see you is nothing compared to the pain of loosing you.
I'm in love with you...
Just wish I could say that to your face
But this is what I have found...
I don't want to let you go, because that would mean loosing the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me.
That the hurt of missing you when I can't see you is nothing compared to the pain of loosing you.
I'm in love with you...
Just wish I could say that to your face
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Change...
Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.
- Maria Robinson
The fact is, in life, things will change and effect our life in a way we can never imagine.
Life never stops long enough for us to catch a break in this world, and will never stay the same forever.
Here is the deal though, for all you people out there, you just need to take what you get and make the best of it.
Life will never hit you easy and the thing is, there are things in life that don't seem fair. People change, people go, and people die. It's hard to understand but, things happen in life and there is no way to go back in time and change the past. You just can't.There is this one saying I heard and I can't remember who its by or the saying word for word it says something like... sometimes we watch the door close and we keep looking at it so long we don't notice when the other doors opening.
There are things in life that hurt us, knock us down, and kick us to the curb. And we sit here watching the past asking, "How could this happen? This doesn't make sense." We are hurt so bad it leaves us in shock, but we can't hold on and keep asking ourselves the same question and never move forward, Because it's true. When we wrap yourself into the change and the past we can't see the different doors and opportunities opening for us.
You don't have to let go of the past. Treasure your memorable memories and learn from the bad. Though life might knock you down, make you cry, or break your heart. Know that even though things are different...in time... you will adapt. It has been said A LOT but it's true. Change is apart of life and apart of everything, but in life...somehow it finds away to adapt to the change and make a new ending.
Our life is't set in stone...the reason is because anything and everything can change in a blink of an eye. Treasure what you have now...Cause it can be gone tomorrow.
- Maria Robinson
The fact is, in life, things will change and effect our life in a way we can never imagine.
Life never stops long enough for us to catch a break in this world, and will never stay the same forever.
Here is the deal though, for all you people out there, you just need to take what you get and make the best of it.
Life will never hit you easy and the thing is, there are things in life that don't seem fair. People change, people go, and people die. It's hard to understand but, things happen in life and there is no way to go back in time and change the past. You just can't.There is this one saying I heard and I can't remember who its by or the saying word for word it says something like... sometimes we watch the door close and we keep looking at it so long we don't notice when the other doors opening.
There are things in life that hurt us, knock us down, and kick us to the curb. And we sit here watching the past asking, "How could this happen? This doesn't make sense." We are hurt so bad it leaves us in shock, but we can't hold on and keep asking ourselves the same question and never move forward, Because it's true. When we wrap yourself into the change and the past we can't see the different doors and opportunities opening for us.
You don't have to let go of the past. Treasure your memorable memories and learn from the bad. Though life might knock you down, make you cry, or break your heart. Know that even though things are different...in time... you will adapt. It has been said A LOT but it's true. Change is apart of life and apart of everything, but in life...somehow it finds away to adapt to the change and make a new ending.
Our life is't set in stone...the reason is because anything and everything can change in a blink of an eye. Treasure what you have now...Cause it can be gone tomorrow.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
I just can't believe you are gone...
You were such a great person...you weren't afraid to be you...You have such a great personality and was always happy. I wish there were things I could of told you before you left... You are such an amazing person and I loved you so much... I am going to miss you...you were a great friend to me and so many other people...and i know you're in a better place...and ill never forget you
Kasey Hiatt:
You were...
smart, funny, energetic, sporty, amazing, cute, and a great friend. You had a heart like none other. You dealt with so much crap and you never let it get you down. You are so tough and so strong.
I remember...
I remember playing volleyball with you... You always played tough. You never let a challenge pass you by. You always had confidence in the team and me.
I remember my birthday party. You had the biggest smile on your face and you were always laughing. The light in your eyes would just fill up the room.
I remember hanging out on Halloween with you and your little brother. You would never pass up free candy and instead of saying it was lame to trick or treat...you just had fun with it.
I remember passing you in the hall and you always said hi to me and left me with a smile on my face.
I will always remember you as a great girl and the strongest spirit...you were truly amazing.
I will never forget you...
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Lied to...
Have you ever heard the saying, "The worst thing about being lied to is knowing you weren't worth the truth."
I know that words you might say are hard, and that you are scared to tell me, but there is one thing in life that I can't take and that is being lied to right in my face.
Life is hard, that's very easy to realize. There are times where people make mistakes and they do things that are hurtful to others. But when people do something or know something that might be harsh to me and they lie to cover it up, I just don't get it.
Seriously?!?! Can you just stop and think for a moment.
Don't you think that lying to my face about something and me hearing about it later will save my feelings?
Really?
Well FYI hey you ya it doesn't...It makes me feel like you didn't care enough to tell me. That some how I wasn't worth telling.It will just hurt me more later on...
If you know me you should know that I don't hold on to things, keep grudges, or hate anyone. I will be fine. I can take care of myself.
Life is short...don't waste the little time you get...
I know that words you might say are hard, and that you are scared to tell me, but there is one thing in life that I can't take and that is being lied to right in my face.
Life is hard, that's very easy to realize. There are times where people make mistakes and they do things that are hurtful to others. But when people do something or know something that might be harsh to me and they lie to cover it up, I just don't get it.
Seriously?!?! Can you just stop and think for a moment.
Don't you think that lying to my face about something and me hearing about it later will save my feelings?
Really?
Well FYI hey you ya it doesn't...It makes me feel like you didn't care enough to tell me. That some how I wasn't worth telling.It will just hurt me more later on...
If you know me you should know that I don't hold on to things, keep grudges, or hate anyone. I will be fine. I can take care of myself.
Life is short...don't waste the little time you get...
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Water...
One of my favorite things in the world is water. For those who don't know me, I love the water. If I could breathe under water I would stay in the water forever.
Have any of you ever just like sat at the bottom of a pool and just let everything soak in.
The feel of the water hugging your body.
The gradual movement of the water rocking back and forth.
The sound of every little movement in the water.
Please don't take me as weird but it's true. To me, taking in the peace of the water lets me forget about life outside of the water.
It let's me catch my breath...while holding it under water.
Have any of you ever just like sat at the bottom of a pool and just let everything soak in.
The feel of the water hugging your body.
The gradual movement of the water rocking back and forth.
The sound of every little movement in the water.
Please don't take me as weird but it's true. To me, taking in the peace of the water lets me forget about life outside of the water.
It let's me catch my breath...while holding it under water.
Fact about life...
I stopped for a second today and looked around. There is so much heart break, lies, and pain in this world. Everyone I am sure have already noticed this, because it is everywhere. But has anyone stopped to just think?
It's so hard to catch a break in this world to take a breath and just think things through. Then people start asking, "Why did this happen to me?"
There might not be a concrete answer to that, but there is one thing I can tell you. For every lie that tears us apart, for every heart break that makes us cry our selves to sleep, and every bit of pain that hazzes our thoughts, there is something to gain.
This probably sounds silly to you, but it's true. Everytime that we have a hardship, it shapes us to who we will become. We learn from our trials everytime and we pick our self back up after we have fallen down. Things tears us down, they makes us cry, and they take away the light in us.
The fact of the matter is, it is true that Bad things happen to good people, but that is just a fact about life... you just have to keep your head up
It's so hard to catch a break in this world to take a breath and just think things through. Then people start asking, "Why did this happen to me?"
There might not be a concrete answer to that, but there is one thing I can tell you. For every lie that tears us apart, for every heart break that makes us cry our selves to sleep, and every bit of pain that hazzes our thoughts, there is something to gain.
This probably sounds silly to you, but it's true. Everytime that we have a hardship, it shapes us to who we will become. We learn from our trials everytime and we pick our self back up after we have fallen down. Things tears us down, they makes us cry, and they take away the light in us.
The fact of the matter is, it is true that Bad things happen to good people, but that is just a fact about life... you just have to keep your head up
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The Little Things...
People say that "Life is about the little things".
The honest truth is Life is about everything but the little things in our lives is what makes life worth living.
The moments where you heart skips a beat, when you laugh so hard you cry, or the moments where you're with people you love and you stop and think to yourself..."This is where I belong".
Everything we do in life is important, but its living in the little moments that makes life so great.
This means, don't forget that everything in life is important, Just don't get caught up in the big stuff.
Life is about living...So make every moment worth while.
The honest truth is Life is about everything but the little things in our lives is what makes life worth living.
The moments where you heart skips a beat, when you laugh so hard you cry, or the moments where you're with people you love and you stop and think to yourself..."This is where I belong".
Everything we do in life is important, but its living in the little moments that makes life so great.
This means, don't forget that everything in life is important, Just don't get caught up in the big stuff.
Life is about living...So make every moment worth while.
Monday, June 20, 2011
After a Storm...
Can you tell me that everything is going to be back to normal?
That everything will be alright?
This question seems to be asked around a lot and we seem to always get the same answer, "Yes it will just give it time." Now that is a very valid answer, but is it the honest truth?
What I think the most honest answer is, "Things will never be the same...but that doesn't mean life won't get better."
The truth is, once you have experienced something that just knocks you down. Life will never go back to the way it once was. For example, when you get a deep cut in your skin...there will always be a scar left over. That is the same way in life... there will always be a lingering mark after a hard experience in life.
But that doesn't mean life won't get better, because it will if you let it. As long as you move on and give things time it will get better.
Do you know the saying, "After every storm there is a Rainbow"?
You only get to live this life once...don't let the scars keep you from living it...
That everything will be alright?
This question seems to be asked around a lot and we seem to always get the same answer, "Yes it will just give it time." Now that is a very valid answer, but is it the honest truth?
What I think the most honest answer is, "Things will never be the same...but that doesn't mean life won't get better."
The truth is, once you have experienced something that just knocks you down. Life will never go back to the way it once was. For example, when you get a deep cut in your skin...there will always be a scar left over. That is the same way in life... there will always be a lingering mark after a hard experience in life.
But that doesn't mean life won't get better, because it will if you let it. As long as you move on and give things time it will get better.
Do you know the saying, "After every storm there is a Rainbow"?
You only get to live this life once...don't let the scars keep you from living it...
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Father's Day...
So today is Father's Day and it just got me thinking (I seem to do that alot) that Father's Day has a deeper meaning to alot of people that I and alot of us dont always consider.
There are people who get to see their father every day and take it for granted. (Heard that before?) But this is so true. For us teenagers we look at ar fathers and dads and just see someone who though we love them they also are our restrictions. This is the guy who has the final say of everything and says no... this is how we take them for granted.
Fathers are so much more then just an adult figure. They are (with the help of moms don't forget) the ones who raise us up, provide for the family so you can hang with your friends, and they care for us and love us more then we realize. They are the ones that made us who we are today.
There are people out there that take these memories and hold on to them dearly, because they dont get to see their father like we do. Whether it is there father has died, they serve in the military, or are just gone.
These people charish the little time with their fathers as they can. They can see the true importance of fathers. Like I have said before, look at things from different perspectives. Like for today, don't look as it as just any old day that you give your dad a card.
Take today and think back on all the good memories and remember of why you love your dad and so thankful that he is your father. Because you don't know how many memories in the future you will have with him. Charish every moment you have.
There are people who get to see their father every day and take it for granted. (Heard that before?) But this is so true. For us teenagers we look at ar fathers and dads and just see someone who though we love them they also are our restrictions. This is the guy who has the final say of everything and says no... this is how we take them for granted.
Fathers are so much more then just an adult figure. They are (with the help of moms don't forget) the ones who raise us up, provide for the family so you can hang with your friends, and they care for us and love us more then we realize. They are the ones that made us who we are today.
There are people out there that take these memories and hold on to them dearly, because they dont get to see their father like we do. Whether it is there father has died, they serve in the military, or are just gone.
These people charish the little time with their fathers as they can. They can see the true importance of fathers. Like I have said before, look at things from different perspectives. Like for today, don't look as it as just any old day that you give your dad a card.
Take today and think back on all the good memories and remember of why you love your dad and so thankful that he is your father. Because you don't know how many memories in the future you will have with him. Charish every moment you have.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
You just never know....
****SIDE NOTE****
Sorry I haven't typed lately just been busy but will try to update the blog everyday(:
**********
So here is something I just noticed, that I am sure all of you have realized way before me. So this is old news, But, in life...almost everything never goes as planned. But to be painfully honest that's just life right? If life was a straight and smooth road it wouldn't be right.
I mean if life was easy we wouldn't have such great songs on the radio, or half as many stories to talk about. Life is just never what we expect period...
But the lesson to be learned here is very simple... with every changed plan, spontaneous event, or problem that gets in your way... don't obsess on how its not what you wanted or expected...Take what you got and go with it.... Because you never know,It might turn out better then you expected....
Sorry I haven't typed lately just been busy but will try to update the blog everyday(:
**********
So here is something I just noticed, that I am sure all of you have realized way before me. So this is old news, But, in life...almost everything never goes as planned. But to be painfully honest that's just life right? If life was a straight and smooth road it wouldn't be right.
I mean if life was easy we wouldn't have such great songs on the radio, or half as many stories to talk about. Life is just never what we expect period...
But the lesson to be learned here is very simple... with every changed plan, spontaneous event, or problem that gets in your way... don't obsess on how its not what you wanted or expected...Take what you got and go with it.... Because you never know,It might turn out better then you expected....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Dumb things...
So this one will be very short. This is just to all the teens out there here is a word of advice...
Teens do the dumbest stuff. Why do you ask? Cause we don't look at life from different perspectives. We look at it like we are up close and can't see anything around us other then that one thing that's happening.
Well here is the thing, and this is the advice, look at life in different perspectives, because the dumb things we do will come back and bite us in the butt. We will get caught whether it's today, tomorrow, or in the future. And if you are not careful...you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Life's about living right now and tomorrow...don't do anything that will jeopardize your future...
Teens do the dumbest stuff. Why do you ask? Cause we don't look at life from different perspectives. We look at it like we are up close and can't see anything around us other then that one thing that's happening.
Well here is the thing, and this is the advice, look at life in different perspectives, because the dumb things we do will come back and bite us in the butt. We will get caught whether it's today, tomorrow, or in the future. And if you are not careful...you will regret it for the rest of your life.
Life's about living right now and tomorrow...don't do anything that will jeopardize your future...
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Not so funny thing...
It's a funny thing how you can go into a relationship and at the beginning think nothing of it. That you don't think it will last that long...but it ends up to be a relationship where you care for the person more then you ever have for someone in a long time... or ever. But you also know, its going to be the most hurtful one, because you're never going to want to let go and you know in the future when ever it does break it will be the hardest to get over.
It's scary to think that one of the best relationships that I have ever been in seems to have an expiration date. Don't get me wrong I don't want it to...at all...but you can tell sometimes that the separation is taking an effect on not just you, but on the other as well...
I'm in love with a guy for the first time...
It hurts so much when I cant see him or talk to him...
But when I am with him I don't care about the pain I just wanna be with him...
Then i wonder, if its hurting him as well...is it selfish for me to hold on?
"You and me" - Lifehouse ( No matter where life will take me that will always be my favorite song... for many reasons...)
It's scary to think that one of the best relationships that I have ever been in seems to have an expiration date. Don't get me wrong I don't want it to...at all...but you can tell sometimes that the separation is taking an effect on not just you, but on the other as well...
I'm in love with a guy for the first time...
It hurts so much when I cant see him or talk to him...
But when I am with him I don't care about the pain I just wanna be with him...
Then i wonder, if its hurting him as well...is it selfish for me to hold on?
"You and me" - Lifehouse ( No matter where life will take me that will always be my favorite song... for many reasons...)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
How is it...
How is it that you can care so much about someone that when you miss them its like someone is just punching you in the gut. That it makes it so hard to breath without them.
But when you're with them it's like nothing else matters. How your heart skips a beat when they are near. That the world doesn't matter as long as you are with them.
When you miss them you ask if it's worth it...
When your with them you know it is...
But you still cry..every night...because your in love with a guy that you're slowly loosing...
But when you're with them it's like nothing else matters. How your heart skips a beat when they are near. That the world doesn't matter as long as you are with them.
When you miss them you ask if it's worth it...
When your with them you know it is...
But you still cry..every night...because your in love with a guy that you're slowly loosing...
Monday, June 13, 2011
Fragile thing...
Life is a fragile thing...Everyone gets mad, everyone has issues, and everyone has their limits. People are stupid, People will push the limit, and People make mistakes.
But here is what I have learned...Life is a matter if you can pick yourself up after you have broken down...that people do need to cry but whether you can keep a smile for your friends till you get home or you wait till your with a good friend...that there are people you can talk to about personal matters and then there are people that you just can't...In short life is hard, It's never easy, and it wont get any easier...It is just a matter if whether you pick yourself up and you get stronger
But here is what I have learned...Life is a matter if you can pick yourself up after you have broken down...that people do need to cry but whether you can keep a smile for your friends till you get home or you wait till your with a good friend...that there are people you can talk to about personal matters and then there are people that you just can't...In short life is hard, It's never easy, and it wont get any easier...It is just a matter if whether you pick yourself up and you get stronger
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
So Complex: Here is the thing...
So Complex: Here is the thing...: "So here is the thing, I have come to decide one of my life quotes, and trust me I have many, is that to enjoy life one must live it by takin..."
Monday, May 23, 2011
Here is the thing...
So here is the thing, I have come to decide one of my life quotes, and trust me I have many, is that to enjoy life one must live it by taking chances whithout looking back and regretting the past. Because the truth is, yesterday is gone and it's never comming back and you don't know how many tomorrows you are going to get. So why waste the time on focusing your mind in the past? It's not worth the pain. I understand about heartbreak, family issues, or rough patches, and it might be hard to let go. But have you ever heard the saying "Forgive and forget"? So you don't nessasarily have to forget things because you learn from different trials but don't let them hang onto you. It's baggage you don't need. Life is about living in the moment and the moment isn't yesterday...
Saturday, May 21, 2011
So hard to say...
It's so hard to say the things i want to when I am so guarded.
I want to, but there is always something holding me back.
I want to tell you how much I care,
How lucky I am to be with you,
How you are always so sweet and caring...
Is it silly of me to hide in the dark so scared of my past,
To never feel good enough because I cant tell you the simple things i like that you do?
The way you hold my hand,
how you brush away the hair from my face,
or that you look me in the eyes when you talk to me.
I don't wanna loose you...
That's what I wanna tell you but will never get the courage to say to your face...Just post on a blog that no one will read.
I want to, but there is always something holding me back.
I want to tell you how much I care,
How lucky I am to be with you,
How you are always so sweet and caring...
Is it silly of me to hide in the dark so scared of my past,
To never feel good enough because I cant tell you the simple things i like that you do?
The way you hold my hand,
how you brush away the hair from my face,
or that you look me in the eyes when you talk to me.
I don't wanna loose you...
That's what I wanna tell you but will never get the courage to say to your face...Just post on a blog that no one will read.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
what life is about...
Its those little moments that make life great... Weird starting sentence I know but its true. In life it's not the money or how popular you are that make life great. It is those funny fun moments in life that bring a smile to your face. It's the moments where you laugh so hard you have tears running down your face. Where milk comes out your nose because your friend told a funny joke. The first kiss or first time your heart skips a beat. Those days where you are care free and you feel so happy you want to dance in the rain. The nights where your bedroom because a dance party. When the night is yours and you feel as if nothing could ruin your day. Those moments are what make life the greatest thing...the reason we smile, laugh, and cry. To be honest when you grow up and you're staring out you window, are you going to remember what grade you got in physics? How many votes you had for class president? Or the moments that made you feel so happy inside? that made you felt like you belonged. The moments where you know... that your happy just the way things are.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Summers day...
I miss the feel of the warmth of the sun on my skin
The feeling of peace inside my heart
The sounds of the birds singing
I miss the happiness I felt every morning
The feeling of safety
The feeling of a summers day
The feeling of peace inside my heart
The sounds of the birds singing
I miss the happiness I felt every morning
The feeling of safety
The feeling of a summers day
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Some guys...
So I guess that I might have assumed the worst out of guys in one of my earlier post labeled GUYS. Yeah, there are a lot of guys out there that are self centered or just don't care enough to try when it comes to people they like. And it's true a lot of guys act a certain way, but I will admit some guys don't.
Some guys try harder then anyone else when it comes to relationships.
Some guys even though they might be scared to show their feelings will spontaneously do the most amazing things for the girl they care about.
Some guys are sweeter and more kind then any other human being on the planet.
Some guys are super romantic.
Some guys care.
Some guys put every person before themselves and would give you the coat of their back just to keep you warm.
Those some guys are the reason girls look for "the one" and judge harshly when it come's to guys. Because of those some guys we know how amazing how men can be, how amazing they can make us feel. And give us a reason to believe in love.
Because of those guys...well they are the best type of guys you could ever wish for.
Some guys try harder then anyone else when it comes to relationships.
Some guys even though they might be scared to show their feelings will spontaneously do the most amazing things for the girl they care about.
Some guys are sweeter and more kind then any other human being on the planet.
Some guys are super romantic.
Some guys care.
Some guys put every person before themselves and would give you the coat of their back just to keep you warm.
Those some guys are the reason girls look for "the one" and judge harshly when it come's to guys. Because of those some guys we know how amazing how men can be, how amazing they can make us feel. And give us a reason to believe in love.
Because of those guys...well they are the best type of guys you could ever wish for.
Monday, March 21, 2011
You never cared
"I wish he meant it when he kissed me cause then I could look back and see someone who loved me but I can only go back and see someone who used me."
~Unknown
So here is the thing I don't get about teenagers, How can we be so insensitive sometimes? Why do girls use guys to get another one jealous and vise verse with guys? How can they not see that while using someone else like a puppet they don't notice just how much their act effects them. So I don't mean to get very weird and confusing here but say you use someone as a puppet to try to get another girl or guy jealous. A human puppet will fall for the act...but they can always tell when they are on strings. If you don't followed at all then that me explain. These people that get used by someone will fall for every lie and every fake affection, because they want to believe those lies. They want to believe the lie that they are worth something that every word you say is true. That they mean something to you or that you actually care, But though they want to believe it they can taste the insincerity. They can always have that gut feeling that somethings wrong with the picture in front of them.
Then, when the truth gets out, and the lies unfold though your not hurt and your still trying to get that one girl or guy your fighting for. You tend to miss how broken hearted your human puppet is... The feel of the fact they weren't good enough for you. That every kiss and every hug all you thought about was what that significant person and what they were thinking at the moment. You never see just how hurt the person is that they never mattered
~Unknown
So here is the thing I don't get about teenagers, How can we be so insensitive sometimes? Why do girls use guys to get another one jealous and vise verse with guys? How can they not see that while using someone else like a puppet they don't notice just how much their act effects them. So I don't mean to get very weird and confusing here but say you use someone as a puppet to try to get another girl or guy jealous. A human puppet will fall for the act...but they can always tell when they are on strings. If you don't followed at all then that me explain. These people that get used by someone will fall for every lie and every fake affection, because they want to believe those lies. They want to believe the lie that they are worth something that every word you say is true. That they mean something to you or that you actually care, But though they want to believe it they can taste the insincerity. They can always have that gut feeling that somethings wrong with the picture in front of them.
Then, when the truth gets out, and the lies unfold though your not hurt and your still trying to get that one girl or guy your fighting for. You tend to miss how broken hearted your human puppet is... The feel of the fact they weren't good enough for you. That every kiss and every hug all you thought about was what that significant person and what they were thinking at the moment. You never see just how hurt the person is that they never mattered
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Just another poem
I pray to god with painful tears
why is life so hard why is it so unclear
One mistake, One wrong choice
I try so hard, but have no voice
Things have changed, so many I've lost
I never knew how much things could cost...
why is life so hard why is it so unclear
One mistake, One wrong choice
I try so hard, but have no voice
Things have changed, so many I've lost
I never knew how much things could cost...
GUYS!!!
Guys are so weird! Guys always say that girls are so confusing and why can't girls be more simple. Well newsflash to all you guys, if any of you read this you guys are so complicated as well. I never understand how they think at all. Guy's no offense, but sometimes you are so stupid. So here's a guide for you...
The simple things about girls:
1. We want to talk to you not about your ex-girlfriends or who you got to flirt with you that day
2. We want to be with you but not when you act like your friends
3. We hate it when you only talk to us when it effects you
4. If we are upset then listen to us
5. If we are having a hard time be nice PLEASE
6. We like guys who are sweet and care about more things then video games and how hot every girl you see it.
7. Instead of making fun of us for our little silly things support us.
Now if any guys read this maybe you can put some things down...
Questions girls have about guys:
1. Why are you obsessed with killing video games
2. Why don't most of you guys care
3. Why are you so insensitive sometimes
4. Why do you mainly care about looks...
fill free to comment
The simple things about girls:
1. We want to talk to you not about your ex-girlfriends or who you got to flirt with you that day
2. We want to be with you but not when you act like your friends
3. We hate it when you only talk to us when it effects you
4. If we are upset then listen to us
5. If we are having a hard time be nice PLEASE
6. We like guys who are sweet and care about more things then video games and how hot every girl you see it.
7. Instead of making fun of us for our little silly things support us.
Now if any guys read this maybe you can put some things down...
Questions girls have about guys:
1. Why are you obsessed with killing video games
2. Why don't most of you guys care
3. Why are you so insensitive sometimes
4. Why do you mainly care about looks...
fill free to comment
Sunday, March 13, 2011
I'm Sorry...
I'm sorry for all the hurtful words I said
I'm sorry that I left every time you came along
I'm sorry I was never good enough for you
I'm sorry...
But even though I don't like you anymore it still hurts
That every time I see you I can't handle it
I'm sorry but I can't be around you anymore
At least for now...
Friday, March 11, 2011
Questions...
Life...How can things be so great one day and just horrible the next. Yeah, I know it's life, but seriously it's so hard to really rap your brain around this. I know that teens like myself have so many mixed hormones but seriously come on! Why do we care about so many things! What are clothes look like, who's hot, who's not, how do we look, what does he think, I can't believe she said that, Who said that behind my back, we don't all have the brain power capacity to handle this. When we can't handle this we break down, and when we break down it causes a lot more drama to add on. BUT there are also those days where everything goes right, where your friends make you smile, and when you feel like you could handle anything. I ask questions like this all the time...and I get the same answer...it's life. But then answer me this, why can no one ever give a clear description on what life is in a deep meaning....you tell me...
Life...
I once thought that life was all just cheer and love
But As I gaze at the stars above
Memories flash back to my eyes
I remember the truth; I remember the lies
And though life is not all filled with sin
The line between good and bad grows so thin
Peoples actions they make and words they say
Tend to become twisted and seen another way
It's hard to find someone to trust; someone who is true
When everyone swims in there lies, oceans blue
But though there is sorrow,there is a glint of hope
And though we are hanging on life's ripping rope
We have to be kind, not wear the evil crown
We should be picking each other up not be pushing them down
But all I am is one small voice
To change this world around, we must all make the choice
But As I gaze at the stars above
Memories flash back to my eyes
I remember the truth; I remember the lies
And though life is not all filled with sin
The line between good and bad grows so thin
Peoples actions they make and words they say
Tend to become twisted and seen another way
It's hard to find someone to trust; someone who is true
When everyone swims in there lies, oceans blue
But though there is sorrow,there is a glint of hope
And though we are hanging on life's ripping rope
We have to be kind, not wear the evil crown
We should be picking each other up not be pushing them down
But all I am is one small voice
To change this world around, we must all make the choice
Monday, March 7, 2011
Forgive and Forget...
It's hard to think that at my age you can have so many choices and actions that seem innocently right, but when you grow a little older you see how those choices wasn't as smart at the time. In your middle to late teen years this can possibly truly be the case. You can fall head over heels for a guy ( or a girl if you are a guy reading this) and to your excitement they fell for you too. This can get you so caught up how you caught this guys eyes that you think that this is so perfect. Later though, to your own surprise all the hopes and dreams about the future ends just as fast as it started.
For an example, I was in a relationship with this guy and to me it was going great. I was caught up in the gleam in his eye or the light in his smile, that I didn't realize my own reality. So many times this guy was the highlight of my day. He was funny, smart, sweet, and just about everything I thought I could ever hope for in a guy. Everyday he showed more and more reasons for me to like him. I'm not the easiest girl to cope with either and somehow he handled it without getting super frustrated. I tend to over think things and will get into fights, but he stayed by me. He took my breath away to many times to recall. I fell and I fell hard.
Well, one day he decided that he wanted to go back to being friends. (The over used expression as I dont like you anymore (; ) Not to difficult right? It's not a crime. I was so far into falling for him I took it really hard. 1st time I cried so much.
But, my point is, I thought back then I was going to be with him for a very long time. It was so innocent, so harmless, but I moved on and I can look back now and see my silly teenage mind seeing things in a blur passed the feelings. I wonder how I couldn't see through everything. But I am just a teenager what else could of happened.
I can remember all the adults in my lifetime giving me advice about his, but of course I ignored them saying they just didn't understand. ( Sound familiar?) But they have been my age before, they have gone through the same things I go through. Teenagers don't listen, but that's because we are human!
So here is the advice I give you, for all the not best choice you make in life, don't hate the experiences. Look back and acknowledge how you learned from it and how it shaped you. If there is any hate from it, let it go because you can't move on till you forgive and let go. The relationship I was in had a rough ending but I was mad. Once I let it go of all that anger, It was easy to see I was glad it happened and I moved on.
It wasn't to easy, don't get me wrong, I miss those days a lot, but I learned from it and I'm ready to learn from my next dumb teenage choice.
For an example, I was in a relationship with this guy and to me it was going great. I was caught up in the gleam in his eye or the light in his smile, that I didn't realize my own reality. So many times this guy was the highlight of my day. He was funny, smart, sweet, and just about everything I thought I could ever hope for in a guy. Everyday he showed more and more reasons for me to like him. I'm not the easiest girl to cope with either and somehow he handled it without getting super frustrated. I tend to over think things and will get into fights, but he stayed by me. He took my breath away to many times to recall. I fell and I fell hard.
Well, one day he decided that he wanted to go back to being friends. (The over used expression as I dont like you anymore (; ) Not to difficult right? It's not a crime. I was so far into falling for him I took it really hard. 1st time I cried so much.
But, my point is, I thought back then I was going to be with him for a very long time. It was so innocent, so harmless, but I moved on and I can look back now and see my silly teenage mind seeing things in a blur passed the feelings. I wonder how I couldn't see through everything. But I am just a teenager what else could of happened.
I can remember all the adults in my lifetime giving me advice about his, but of course I ignored them saying they just didn't understand. ( Sound familiar?) But they have been my age before, they have gone through the same things I go through. Teenagers don't listen, but that's because we are human!
So here is the advice I give you, for all the not best choice you make in life, don't hate the experiences. Look back and acknowledge how you learned from it and how it shaped you. If there is any hate from it, let it go because you can't move on till you forgive and let go. The relationship I was in had a rough ending but I was mad. Once I let it go of all that anger, It was easy to see I was glad it happened and I moved on.
It wasn't to easy, don't get me wrong, I miss those days a lot, but I learned from it and I'm ready to learn from my next dumb teenage choice.
Broken...
(A poem from a teenage mind)
Broken
I never thought I could feel that way about someone
That I could feel so safe in someone's arms
Or that I could wake up every morning missing his face so much
I never knew how painful someone could break my heart
How easy his love for me could disappear
Or how I could cry so much
Saturday, March 5, 2011
To Begin...
To start off I must first say the reason for this blog to be is. I don't know if anyone out there will ever read the words that I write, but for a teenager like me, I have so much running through my head that I want to get out. I write alot, but always often like its not enough to have ideas, thoughts, storys, anything in ink in a note book that lays on the table next to my bed. You know, adults you may not realize but there is more going on in some teens head then just kissing and partying. We teens tend to care about other stuff alot more then you think. We have our opinions, yes most of the time they tend to be obserd, but we have our moments where we prove that we have more to show then just grades or an odd story about how our best friend jumped into a dumpster from a roof of a building. Well, If you read my blog you might just see what I mean...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)