So You Don't Like The Way You Look...

     Tell me if I'm wrong, but this subject is almost talked about, too much. For girls its, my hair won't work, my thighs are too big, my cheeks look like a hippo, my face is covered in acne. The list goes on and on. For the guys, my best guess is all about being toned, muscular, and other areas. (I am a girl I don't really know) All I do know is, that is is not only girls who feel incompetent about the way that they look. We all have insecurities.
      We could go off on a shpeal (yes sh-p-eel) about how you are perfect exactly the way that you are, but I'm not going to, at least not exactly. In all honesty none of us are perfect. We all have things that differ from everyone else. And we live in this world, that compares every one us, based on the social want of what we think is perfect. No matter if its a Size 0 or a Size 16 that we praise, there will always be some group that doesn't make the cut, in the eyes of society. Why? Because we are built to function by putting everything in groups. Things that are right, and things that aren't. So we error in the way that we perceive judgment on people. Because why must there always be a right or wrong to everything.
        The way I see it is, if you don't like the way you look, stop looking in the eyes of the world. Because you can go to the gym. You can watch what you eat. But for how ever long, that you are only looking at yourself in the way that the world sees you, you'll never be good enough. Because no matter how much anyone tries, no one is perfect. No one has every single quality that the world has deemed right. We are all filled with imperfections. But understand, that those imperfections, are what make each and every one of you, unique, and it's whats unique  that is worth seeing.
      If you don't like the way you look, change your perspective. Stand in front of the mirror and look at you. I mean, really look at you. Don't think about what you question is wrong. Look at you for who you are. You are unique. You are the only ideal you.
      Stop looking at yourself through the world's eyes, and start looking at yourself through your own.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Single and Alone...

   

Let’s face it, the position of being single and alone is a very, very popular subject. You might be in a serious relationship and you are trying to give singles advice, or you’re single and you’re sick and tired of other people trying to give you advice. If you are not apart of any side, you then fall into the other category.I, myself, am on the single side of this issue, if we can even call this an issue. So far in my life I haven’t had many long term relationships. Which means, a majority of my life I have not had a significant other. So trust me when I say, I understand being what it's like being single.


To begin, let me just set the ground floor, you know, dismiss some myths. First of all, just because someone is single, does not mean the number one thing they want, is a boyfriend or girlfriend. Yes, there are nights when I wish I had someone to sunggle up with, eat take out, and watch Bones with me. But that, in no way means, I need a relationship. Remember, almost my entire understanding of how to survive in this world, is on my own. The idea of having someone else to worry about, to have weight in all my decision, or to even open up to, is not in my comfort zone. My main focuses are my family and friends, work, and school. There are more important things to me than finding someone this second.


The next myth, is just because I am alone right now, does not mean, in any way, that I am going to be alone forever. Just because someone is single and not actively searching for a partner, has no jurisdiction how their future will play out. For instance, I’m not looking for a relationship, but that doesn’t mean I’m not open to dating if someone comes along.


If you are single, there is nothing wrong with you. It gets lonely sometimes. Every once in awhile you’ll wake up at night, wishing someone was next to you. At any moment you might see a couple holding hands and realize you want that. You might, during the holiday season, secretly hope that next year you’ll be spending it with someone you love, instead of being surrounded by other couples. I can’t promise you that some nights, it won’t suck. But understand that doesn't mean, at all, that there is something that is wrong with you. Or that there isn't other things in your life that can make you happy.


Just because you don’t have someone right now, doesn’t mean you won’t later down the road. Remember that being alone, helps you better understand who you are. When you understand yourself, it helps you understand the type of person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Don’t settle. Someone is out there that you will love unconditionally. For now, enjoy having all of the blankets and the bed to yourself, to spread out like a starfish. Embrace every happiness you feel, because you know that you can be happy on your own. You’ll never fully appreciate what it is to be with someone, unless you can understand what it is like without them. Find yourself, so that you can one day find them. But don’t rush.


And for any of you, who for some reason, feel like it’s your job to help others that aren’t in a relationship like you are. Please understand, you might makes someone feel bad if you are constantly trying to fix them up with other people, or questioning their social life. Love them for who they are, and be there for them in what ever way they want you to be. Because if you are their friend, or family member, you are the most important people in their life right now, who they care for. No one wants to feel like someone they love, thinks that their standing in life right now, is not adequate.


Life is a marvelous and wonderful thing. That, although has some bad ingredients to it, is filled with beautiful moments and characteristics. Love is out there. You’ll find it in time. If you are alone, enjoy the little blessings you have around you and just be happy with what have right now. If you are not alone, appreciate the person you’re with. Don’t take love for granted.

Life is a journey, embrace every step.

If Only My Brain Had A Map...

     I seem to be battling lately, on how I feel. You see, things have been, as I can see, falling into place. I have friends to talk to and hang out with. Work is going great, and there is even a love interest thrown into the mix. This should make life seem great...right? Maybe it's the fact that I am use to being alone. I have, for so long now, learned to live and adapt to situations by myself. Never needing to lean on anyone, and just battling life by my lonesome. Which could be the reason that I feel off.
    Let me explain. There is a guy that I like. And oh my goodness, is he something else. He is really incredible. We are just friends, we've gone on a couple dates nothing too serious, and right now that is all it is going to be.  But it so natural to be with him. And he makes me happy and laugh harder than I have with anyone. I have liked only one person so far in my life that can even be compared to him. And this guy, over passed that one other person that came close, by the first date. I could write pages and pages about how magnificent this guy is. But I wont.
     For some crazy reason, he seems to like me. I don't understand why he does, and it makes no sense in my head. He is one of those amazing and nice guys that every girl falls for, and he deserves the best. But...I am the girl who even though, I love and care about everyone, has mastered to blend in with the shadows. I get my stuff done without leaving any tracks. I am not some unique eye catching woman. But I seem to have part of his attention.
I should be ecstatic right?
I should be head over heels, and one of those girls who are helplessly in love.
But I'm not...or at least not yet.
     Don't get me wrong, he makes my head spin, my stomach fill with butterflies, but the situation is so complex. That when he asks me how I feel, I don't want to say, because I don't want to think about it. There is still a chance that he will find someone better, someone more spectacular that I could ever be. And I know if I think about it, if I get to that level where I open myself up to these feelings I have pact behind this brick wall, I'm going to fall so hard and so deep, that if he does walk away...it's going to really hurt.
    So I ask myself, what should do? Should I tell him and risk this tight rope I'm walking? Or not say anything and hope that he picks me eventually?
    I honestly don't know, and I don't know if any one of you are in this same type of situation. The only advice I can give, is remember that if it doesn't work out, life won't end. That for now, enjoy the moment, smile, and hope that maybe one day you actually get to break down that wall and embrace all those feelings you were scared to feel.
    I want nothing more than for him to be happy. And if that is not with me, I'll get through it. But a girl can wish right?

I hope the best for everyone that is out there!
I will write soon.

We Lie...

        The reason that the whole word is so complicated can be narrowed down to a simple thing. We lie. We lie about everything. How we feel, what we think, and what is really going on.  One of the soul reasons why so many marriages end in divorce is because we lie to each other. While one person is laying in bed at night, focusing on all these negative thoughts and issues, the other is either at a loss, completely confused, on why their spouse is acting so weird, or has no idea there is any issue at all. Why is that? Because one person said "I'm fine" or "Don't worry about it" and held in the very problems that became the core reason why they left.
        The truth is, if we would just be honest with people, a lot of issues would be resolved or able to be worked out. But we don't, because deep down we have been conditioned to believe that we have to fend for ourselves, and the pain and hurt we feel is shown as a weakness to everyone around us. That if we try to speak the words running through our heads, we will be seen as broken, or that we are whining when so many others have it worse off then ourselves. People don't seem to understand that everyone, no matter how small, has difficulties in their life that effect them is ways, that someone who has not lived in their shoes, can never fully understand. And when they don't listen, or don't try to understand, they make accusations and misjudge. So we lie. We pretend that we are fine. So that others will not tell us to "suck it up" or "Get over it" and we just hope that we will make it out alive.