For anyone who have kept up with this blog over the years, might already have an idea on my stance of Soul Mates. Some of you might object to my opinions, but that is okay. I grew up with parents that I love very dearly. When I was about 10 years old, my parents split. When I was 13, they divorced. I was stuck in an on going pride, power, and anger battle. Often times, I was used as a pawn in these battles and even though my parents loved me, sometimes amidst the fights the anger and pride crushed every ounce of family love we had till we were standing in the burning rumble.
For years I never understood how such a loving home could turn so cold and so horrific. That a life I loved was something I dreaded waking up to everyday. How can two people who love each other, turn into mortal enemies? So what did I do? I started reading every marriage and family book put in front of me. I knew that I never wanted to make my future family go through the pain and the stress I had. Never would I willing put anyone through what I had.
Something that I cam to realize that a lot of relationships are tainted with this idea that there is one soul mate out there for us. In a past post, I talked about how there are multiple one in a millions. Since there are over 7 billion people on this planet this means there are thousands of one and a millions. With that said, there isn't just one person out there for you. Actually, with the effort, there are many different people that you could be happy with. You both just have to put in the effort and the work.
So here is the issue. If you are one of those who believe that there is one soul mate out there for you, let me twll you how this can actually ruin your relationships. Marriages and relationships are build on knowing, trusting, relying, loyalty and love, right? These take time, work, and effort to accomplish. Every day you have to give your significant other 100% and sometimes you have to give an extra 20% when they can only give 80% that day. It is on going.
Sometimes there becomes fights and issues that come up within a relationship. Things get stressful and hard and at night you are wondering, why is it this hard? If you got married thinking this person was your soul mate, you literally embedded a seed that told you that he/she is perfect. But as you are lying there at night, after hours of yelling and going to bed with such chaotic tension, you suddenly think, What if he/she isn't my soul mate? By doing this you realize that your actual soul mate might actual be still out there, and you haven't met them.
Do you see the issue? In a majority of marriages if both sincerely work on the marriage after 5 years you will find a happy couple. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Things take time and great things take patience. If we fixate with this idea that there is only one person, even though it is a nice idea, we will end up hurting ourselves and everyone else involved. There isn't a soul mate out there for us, we create a soul mate with a person that we chose and a person that we work to love.
Love is out there, don't wait for it to fall into your lap. Go find it.
Monday, May 16, 2016
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
A Sea Of Our Own Hypocrisy...
I have often found it strange how the world's lines on people are often double crossed or overlapping. That in some cases, to keep one person or groups' rights, you must take away another's. That you could be an angel sent from heaven, but to some people, that angel is nothing but the apparition of the devil. The line between right and wrong, of presentable and garbage, of what should offend people and what merely strikes at one's pride, is so mixed together that it is almost like everyone sees a different line and a different view.
What I have found growing up is, weakness, trials and tribulation, and even successes are often suppose to be kept to yourself. If one vented to someone about their messed up family life, they were called a whiner. If one talked about the things they had to go through, the pain, issues, trials they had to over come, they were looked at as a liar or seeking attention. If someone uses their past as a reason or clarification on why they act the way they do, they looked at as weak. Some people may see the individual and see their strength and their light but yet there is such an over powering about of voices that saw that same strength as instead higher oneself. . When did surviving, getting perspective or growing up become something different than being strong or wise, but instead, it made you defective or inferior.
If you stand for what you believe in, whether that be in a god or traditional marriage, people may tell you that you are prejudice and hateful. If you are atheist or just don't believe in a higher being and don't care about traditional values, or see their importance, you can be judged and looked at as a sadist. If you have a happy childhood with loving parents and happy memories, you were sheltered. If you had a messed up childhood and fell into some really rocky situations made by bad choices, you are a failure. If you had horrific challenges tossed at you from every direction, and you still got back up and kept moving forward, god forbid you say even a sentence of your past, they probably will tell you that you are begging for validation and attention.
No matter how good of a person you may be, no matter how pure your intentions truly are, there will still be people who see you as nothing more than a self absorbed no good piece of trash, and that pains my heart. There are so many people in this world who have such magnificent and wonderful personalities and hearts that are tossed away because of ill conceived judgements. Good men and women who are kicked down because they have compassion. Honest people lied to because a person sees manipulation and lies as a way to get ahead.
I know that there is good in the world. I know that there are good people out there trying to make a difference everyday and are often over looked. I also know that I am not perfect. People wonder why the world seems to be running into the fire that can drive us straight to hell, but in reality it is because we are drowning in a sea of our own hypocrisy that we don't realize that most of us are the ones that are leading us to our destruction.
What I have found growing up is, weakness, trials and tribulation, and even successes are often suppose to be kept to yourself. If one vented to someone about their messed up family life, they were called a whiner. If one talked about the things they had to go through, the pain, issues, trials they had to over come, they were looked at as a liar or seeking attention. If someone uses their past as a reason or clarification on why they act the way they do, they looked at as weak. Some people may see the individual and see their strength and their light but yet there is such an over powering about of voices that saw that same strength as instead higher oneself. . When did surviving, getting perspective or growing up become something different than being strong or wise, but instead, it made you defective or inferior.
If you stand for what you believe in, whether that be in a god or traditional marriage, people may tell you that you are prejudice and hateful. If you are atheist or just don't believe in a higher being and don't care about traditional values, or see their importance, you can be judged and looked at as a sadist. If you have a happy childhood with loving parents and happy memories, you were sheltered. If you had a messed up childhood and fell into some really rocky situations made by bad choices, you are a failure. If you had horrific challenges tossed at you from every direction, and you still got back up and kept moving forward, god forbid you say even a sentence of your past, they probably will tell you that you are begging for validation and attention.
No matter how good of a person you may be, no matter how pure your intentions truly are, there will still be people who see you as nothing more than a self absorbed no good piece of trash, and that pains my heart. There are so many people in this world who have such magnificent and wonderful personalities and hearts that are tossed away because of ill conceived judgements. Good men and women who are kicked down because they have compassion. Honest people lied to because a person sees manipulation and lies as a way to get ahead.
I know that there is good in the world. I know that there are good people out there trying to make a difference everyday and are often over looked. I also know that I am not perfect. People wonder why the world seems to be running into the fire that can drive us straight to hell, but in reality it is because we are drowning in a sea of our own hypocrisy that we don't realize that most of us are the ones that are leading us to our destruction.
Monday, May 9, 2016
Hello Blogging World
Well Hello!
As Most of you know I have not been on here for a long time. I began this blog when I was in Junior high. I started to continue blogging in high school, but got very distracted with trying to graduate that I failed at my attempt. I had a few loyal followers and I apologize for my absence and my not being able to follow through with my posts. For me to promise to write every week, I realize, is a hallow promise, but I will try my best.
If you were to go back through my post, through out the years, you would be able to see a teenager go through heart break, depression, happiness, and a broken home. In my adolencent life I watched my family fall apart, lost a friend suddenly, was cheated on, used, stressed, over worked and an outsider in my own home. To say the least, I got a glimpse on just how hard life can knock you down. It has been a long journey to get to where I am now. As well, I know that this journey and the mountains I will have to climb are far from over.
I am now in my 20s trying to find my place in this world, live on my own, and hopefully in the next few years start my own family. The point of this blog is not to get attention or to give myself some type of validation, but to find the words to express myself and what I learn in life, so that maybe one of you might understand that you are not alone. Life was never meant to be easy. Good luck, money and riches are not usually handed to you on a silver platter. There are days that we feel alone, forgotten, or hated by the world. Sometimes we just need to know someone else knows what we are going through.
If this blog helps even one person, then it has succeeded. If it is only a journal of thoughts for myself, that is fine as well.
As Most of you know I have not been on here for a long time. I began this blog when I was in Junior high. I started to continue blogging in high school, but got very distracted with trying to graduate that I failed at my attempt. I had a few loyal followers and I apologize for my absence and my not being able to follow through with my posts. For me to promise to write every week, I realize, is a hallow promise, but I will try my best.
If you were to go back through my post, through out the years, you would be able to see a teenager go through heart break, depression, happiness, and a broken home. In my adolencent life I watched my family fall apart, lost a friend suddenly, was cheated on, used, stressed, over worked and an outsider in my own home. To say the least, I got a glimpse on just how hard life can knock you down. It has been a long journey to get to where I am now. As well, I know that this journey and the mountains I will have to climb are far from over.
I am now in my 20s trying to find my place in this world, live on my own, and hopefully in the next few years start my own family. The point of this blog is not to get attention or to give myself some type of validation, but to find the words to express myself and what I learn in life, so that maybe one of you might understand that you are not alone. Life was never meant to be easy. Good luck, money and riches are not usually handed to you on a silver platter. There are days that we feel alone, forgotten, or hated by the world. Sometimes we just need to know someone else knows what we are going through.
If this blog helps even one person, then it has succeeded. If it is only a journal of thoughts for myself, that is fine as well.
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