A Child's Playground...

Are the adults of today really mature for their years? In the years past after an election it has been found that the effect of the turn out is brutal and the threat of blood shed seems close at hand.  To reason with any American over politics, is an idea that has no grasp to reality or has any ability to obtain it. During an election year you will find numerous optimistically biased people who think that the fate of the world is in the one person they want to elect.  They also believe that the destruction of the world is in the hands of the opposing candidate.

People hold to no reason or law in the midst of a political argument. They appear to stop at nothing to get the candidate they want to become the next President of the United States of America. In a political fight individuals loose sight on who they actually are and the people they are debating with. The hypocrisy of their rules, reason, and attitude holds no standing to an actual intellectual citizen. Family, Friends, and neighbors’ tension grows to a point where they are thrown away and dismissed as enemies because of their personal opinion. Why, do you ask? Because people are ridiculous.

This may be a good time to give contemplation to what a democracy really is. Democracy is having the “Free and equal right of everyone to participate in the system of government” (Dictionary). Democracy is an adult term giving light that this is a country that elects people of power by the voice of free and equal citizens.

To what democracy is not, democracy is not a child’s playground where rules like, “Finders keeper’s loser’s weepers”, or, “What I say goes because I’m the biggest kid around”, applies. Where if the kid on the opposite side of the sandbox builds a better sandcastle than you, you then proceed to go and kick the sand in their face and stomp away in a tantrum. It is social equality to the citizens of America, but it is not a free ticket to get what ever one individual wants.

Democracy is not an absolute monarchy and is not a system that is rigged to only pick the worse candidate that they possible can to ruin the lives of so many Americans. If you or anyone else has the slightest uproar of who was elected the only person you can blame is you and the people around you.

So why then are the reactions of people because of their candidate loosing so harsh to a point where people then attack on those who believed differently than themselves. Aren’t those same people they call abominations and traitors the same people they works with, have lunch with, and watch the super bowl with.

America is known for having diverse people who are united in one single country. Every part of the country is built in a different territory and region, and the diverse people are grown to learn the basics of different morals. So why is one person’s opinion better than another? I know that I feel that I see life from somewhat of a mature stand point, but who am I to say I know more than the next?

There has been some talk that the result of this new election has started a disturbance in the facebook realm. And this seems quit off to me. Everyone who voted believed that they were voting for the person they thought would best be suited for the title “President”. And the polls were close, but there will always be a winning side, and a losing side. But you have to understand that if you fall on the losing side that a majority of people felt like their candidate was better suited.

So if you are one of those people who feel like posting a picture saying that the people who reelected Obama are the pure definition of insanity. Try to realize that you are calling over half of this country insane. And you are acting out in a way that is no better than a child on a playground.

Mistakes...

"Even a mistake may turn out to be the one thing necessary to a worthwhile achievement."
~Henry Ford

     Everyday, we as human beings, will run into blockades. We will make mistakes, look back and wish we could change something in our past, but we can't. We get so focused on what could of happened instead of what can happen.
     Honestly, you can't change the past, but you can take every day as a new day. Those mistakes, those lost words, those broken hearts, those are what make you who you are today. The mistakes and choices we make are what shape us. Anything good that happens now, could be because of what happened then. Stop wasting your time looking back, you might just miss a chance now.
     Life is what it is, a messed up quandary. nothing is what it should be and nothing is what it seems. Deal with it.You,can take today and make something out of it.You make the choices of  how you will take the situation before you. Stop looking at the glass half empty and live every second of the life you have right now. Anyone can take a situation, and change it into something that means something.

When A Friend Dies...

"Never Forgotten"
     For those of you who have read my blog you might of noticed that about a year ago my friend had past away. With the days coming closer to the day that she past away, I have found that, what seemed a little easy to cope with during the year, is becoming harder, like a fresh cut, and beginning to become difficult to to handle. The feeling of loss, regret, pain, all seem repeat its self day after day, wearing me down.
     Those of you who have lost someone in your life can probably relate to what I am saying, but for those who can't, I will break it down and start from the beginning....
     I met Kasey in elementary on a club volleyball team and man, did I look up to her. She could spike and hit that volleyball like I never saw someone our age hit. I thought for sure she had the strength of a hero. She was funny and very perky, always walking up with a big "Hi!" Waving her hand crazily and always making me smile. She really was something else.
     Later in my school years I moved away and then came back. When returning to a school with kids you grew up with once, it can feel like entering a brand new place. The faces looked the same, but the people were completely different. Kasey and this group of friends adopted me in, and believe it or not we became somewhat close. We went to the mall, I took Kasey's brother trick or treating with her one Halloween night, and she became someone who would listen to my problems and then slap me in the face with the truth I needed to hear.
    Now, getting to the point of my story, about a year ago, a couple weeks before her death, she had attended girls camp with her best friend who is my friend as well. I had missed Kasey because we had grown apart and were now reconnecting. I was going to give her a letter, because at camp you can send letters to other girls that are sent out at night like a little goodnight note, and I wanted to tell her about how much she truly did mean to me. To be honest, she got me through a lot, more than she never probably knew she had. I had a gut feeling I should tell her, I needed to tell her, these things I wanted to say. There was so much over the years, that I just never told her. Needless to say, I got caught up in my own life, my own drama, that I never got around to sending that letter... I meant to give it to her later but as you can see...that didn't happen.  I still have to this day and all it has on it is, "Dear Kasey, "
     There are certain things I still regret. I wish so much I would of sent that letter. If I wouldn't of been so self conscious maybe she would of gotten to see it before it was too late. My point of this is not to wallow in my misery, or the fact of me missing my friend, or tell of my regrets, but to teach or at least tell one major lesson I got out of all of this... 
     You never know what is going to happen between today and tomorrow. But don't get caught up in yourself, your problems, and your pain. Now don't take this the wrong way, you should still care about yourself, but don't let it get in the way of taking in everything and everyone around you. Live your life in a way that you won't have a regret if you died tomorrow. Tell everyone you care about, that you care about them and what they mean to you, because you never know when your last day...or theirs...will come.

     I miss Kasey and I wish everyday that I could see her one more time just to tell her the things that I wanted to say. I will never forget her...ever....don't make the same mistake I did...

What I Thought Then, Is Different Now...

"I'm mad at myself, not you. I'm mad for always being nice. I'm mad for apologizing for things I didn't do. I am mad for getting attached. I am mad for thinking about you, but most of all I am mad for not hating you when I should."
 ~Unknown

      I don't know what it is, but we all seem to get caught up in a moment and loose sight on every sensible intelligent bone in our body. When looking back we think, "What the heck was I thinking." We tend to get so focused on what is going on right now, right in front of our faces, that we don't stop to think in a broader horizon.
     The reason I say this is simple. I was thinking back on the moments that, at the time, I thought were going to be the greatest moments of my high school life. I was happy. The things that use to make me upset, didn't seem to bug me anymore. Things for the first time, seemed to be working out and falling into place. I was finally able to let my guard down and open myself to the possibility that this time was different. He was different. But he wasn't...
     Now don't get me wrong here, I don't hate him, I don't blame him, or wish any cruel thing upon him. But I do hate myself for not seeing the signs. The truth is...there was so much there that I should of noticed. The repeat of his history, the same old sappy sayings, and the biggest of all, the times I was at the lowest point in my life, he didn't know what to say. And honestly, its not what he couldn't say, but it wasn't right. If it was right, I should of wanted to talk out everything with him, let him in on my deepest emotions. But I didn't... I actually didn't feel comfortable talking about those things. Yet, I still kept falling...
     The point is...Now, looking back I noticed everything that I missed. How the times I cried myself to sleep(You might think is a silly girl thing), times I would wait for him to get online just so I could say hi, and the pain I single handedly set myself up for, it didn't have to happen. But the thing is, I didn't notice... I got so absorbed with what was going on around me,What I thought I felt, I never stopped to take a step back, and just take everything in.
      I could easily say, "Don't let this be you, don't fall into the same mistakes I have made..." but the thing is, its gonna happen, and hopefully, one day, you'll make the right choice. I just want to say, when it does happen, please, don't hate yourself because you cared. Don't hate yourself, for giving people/ the person the benefit of the doubt. The truth is, this world needs people that give hope and that care about something for a change. Life, as many times as it is stated, is never an easy road.
     You will get hurt, you will cry, you will make mistakes...but that is just life...Don't beat yourself over it. Just take it one day at a time... You'll be surprised how far you can go.

When Life Shoots You Down...

I am sorry that I have not posted in awhile, but it being summer, I plan on posting at least three days a week.
So here we go...
     In life, things will be thrown and shot at us from every direction. Things, that we are not expecting or want to hear. Things that make every muscle in our body body give out with out warning. This can be, difficulty with friends, significant others, death, fights... In short, life is filled with unsuspecting trials that we must go through. But know, that these things are the things that make us who we are and will become.
     Think about it, if it wasn't for that one guy/gal breaking your heart, the car accident, all the time you did or not spend in school, you wouldn't of been where you are today, with out those experiences. It makes us grow and look at life with knowledge and understanding for not only ourselves, but the people around us. We say that the older you are, the wiser you become. But don't you understand why?
     Every thing that has ever knocked us down, made us cry, or made us fall to the ground, because the pain inside is so great, that we feel that nothing could ever take away what has happened. That is what sticks with us. Those are the things that we will remember for the rest of our lives. We look at life differently when we have felt that pain, or seen and gone through those things that left scares in out memory.
     Don't ever loose who you are inside. Remember it is always okay to cry. But know, that every time that you are left crying, feeling alone, having no Idea what to do with your life, you will get through it. It might take days, weeks, months, but time never stops, and hope is always the
re. And where ever there is hope...well you will find you are never truly lost.

To Breath Again...

I have heard a quote..."It is better to leave the glass broken laying on the floor, than to hurt yourself trying to put it back together."

     Life as you all know is not a stroll in the park on a sunny day. Life is more like a bi-polar weather pattern that is always changing, and never constant. We will feel and witness things that change our life and our very reason for getting up in the morning. We will laugh and smile and feel that light inside of us just shinning through, but we will also loose the things and people closest to us, leaving us in a state of hurt and pain. Where we are struggling to try to rip out the pain in our chest and the tears just don't stop flowing down our cheek like a fire, free falling falling fast down our face to the cold ground.
     I have found myself gasping for breath now and again, confused to know where to go from here. I have struggled to fix what I have broken to find later, there was nothing left to fix, nothing I could of done to change what had happened.
     In true honesty, I will learn to breath again. I made it this far haven't I? Let me tell you one thing, don't hold on to the pain, the past, and everything that binds you down and pulls you into the gravity where you can't escape. You can cry out everything inside of you, but then let it go, like setting free a butterfly go after you embraced in its beauty. Everything has a time, and everything can heal.
     Learn to let go, learn to remember what was good, and remember you still matter no matter where life takes you.
You can learn to breathe again...

Don't Sugar Coat The Truth...

Don't you just hate it when people play games on with your mind and your emotions?
     I am a pretty mater of fact person and most would agree that the phrase I just didn't want to hurt your feelings is a total shmuck of line.
     Just because you think you know us well enough doesn't mean that pretending to feel or say certain things is going to spare our feelings. I can only really speak for myself here, though I am pretty sure I am not alone on this one.
     I say, tell it to me straight, don't lie to my face. Whether it is in relationships, friendships, characteristics, talents or whatever, don't lie to spare ones pride or feelings, Because if any of you out there are like me you are going to want to believe them. Then you hold on to things that have already got up and left, when you are still right there waiting and getting your hopes up just to fall in the end.
     I know for a fact I am not the smartest, prettiest, thinnest, or most talented girl in this world let alone my home town. I am not ashamed of who I am, because I am me and I am not going to try to change who I am to please anyone else or anything. But I don't want to hold on to things or people when I shouldn't.
     Don't lie to my face thinking you are trying to protect me...because you are not.
It will hurt worse later on because one, you lied. Two, I was believing on false hopes.

Life is way to short, in the words of my friend Kasey who passed away June 30th 2011, "Don't sugar coat the truth. Life is already hard as it is and you aren't making it any easier by not telling them the truth."

Life is to short to be standing in the past...Because life never stops and waits for you...

My Reality Check...

"The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them."
~Unknown

     I got slapped in the face with reality today when talking to a friend. He said that if I honestly cared so much for this guy, That then I never really could of moved on yet. All I am doing is pretending the feelings aren't there, and acting like I honestly am happy that he is dating someone else.
     I told him he was wrong, that I was happy and I did move on...
 But today when I was sick, and when I am sick I have these vivid dreams and they feel all to real. And the dreams themselves are not like regular dreams, there is nothing to set them apart from reality. I had a dream about him, I was sick and he was there. So many feelings came flooding back and I realized they never left.
     Does this mean I am now not okay that he is dating someone else?
No, I am fine that he is. I am glad he is happy and I am not just saying that. All this means is, the reason It can never seem to work out with anyone else, is because I am still not over this one person.
     Let me tell it to you straight...There are going to be times where your best friend or guy you truly like is going to be standing right next to you, and all you can do is put a smile face and pretend that your heart is not breaking with every word he speaks from his mouth. That you are not in pain or inches away from your breaking point...
    Because the truth is, If you really care about someone,they come first. That even if it hurts you for them to be happy, you will do it.
    Time keeps ticking, and you never will know what lays in the future. Maybe things will work out for you in the end, But there is no use on trying to change what has already been done. The more you complain about a guy who is taken, the worse it will be. All you can do is keep your head up high and keep walking forward.

What Valentines Day Is Truly All About...

Can we please get something clear here?
      Valentines day has turned into this battle of the "Couples" vs. "Singles"!
Seriously?!?
     Valentines day is a holiday meant for showing you care about someone OR someoneS, it is not just for "The couples". If you don't have a special person in your life then instead of crying a river or turning all anti valentines day, why don't you just try and make someone else's day who needs it for a change. Show them they aren't forgotten, and stop being so self absorbed and get over the fact you are single. Because it is NOT about the expensive gifts or the fancy things, it's about showing someone or someone else they matter.
Don't get so focused on what a guy/girl should get you. Try to make someone else shine for the day.
      Some say that Valentines Day is pathetic because people should act this way everyday. It's true, everyday you should strive to show that you care about the people around you, but Valentines day is a day that you can go the extra mile and make someone else you're priority.
      Every year I pick a person that I know is either feeling down, upset, or just needs a pick me up and I focus on them. I still try to make everyone around me feel loved, but I try to especially make that one person's day. (You can tell this is my favorite holiday can't you?)
      Today I decorated the entry to the classroom with sticky notes and letters saying yes, no, maybe, and sweet little sayings. I led it to his seat where a huge stuffed teddy bear was sitting in his seat with roses, chocolate, and a note saying, "Will you be my Valentine?" I didn't go all and get anything expensive, I just took the time to actually prepare an idea.
      To be honest, it made his day. I am pretty sure I never caught him not smiling. I am not dating this guy, or have a huge crush on him, He is just one of my friends that I decided to show he mattered, That I cared that he was here.
      Now you don't have to do anything on the lines that I did, but can you see what I am getting at here?
Valentines day is the one holiday that is legitly only about trying to show people that you care, that they matter here. Stop talking down about it, or hating on this day because you are alone, or you don't get anything.
      But hear me when I say...YOU MATTER!
      And instead about wallowing in the fact you don't have someone to share it with, or he/she didn't do anything. Change your thinking to how can I make someone else smile.
That is what February 14th (Valentines Day) is all about, at least to me it is...

Young and Stupid...

"To be old and wise, you must first be young and stupid."
~Unknown

     I have found that people will look at a younger crowd and measure them up to these intelligent and wise adults. Saying stuff like, why can't you be more like him or her? Why do you not think before you act?
The honest truth here is simple, people that you look up to, that you measure others to, become wise not because they were born that way, but because they first became and grew to be that way.
     People don't one day understand the feelings of loss, betrayal, pain, or despair because they read it in a magazine or watched it in a movie. True understanding came by going through that pain and despair, that loss or hardship, and overcoming it, and letting it shape who might become.
     Wise people have stories and advice because they use to be in the same boat as you. They lost love ones, they tasted the bitterness of defeat and betrayal, they made wrong decisions and had to face the consequences that followed.
     Don't judge a person by their mistakes, appreciate them, when they overcome their mistakes and learn from them.
     Life is not about doing everything right...it's about living with what you've got and learning to move forward with it.
     Like I said before, you're not born wise... it's something you become.