For anyone who have kept up with this blog over the years, might already have an idea on my stance of Soul Mates. Some of you might object to my opinions, but that is okay. I grew up with parents that I love very dearly. When I was about 10 years old, my parents split. When I was 13, they divorced. I was stuck in an on going pride, power, and anger battle. Often times, I was used as a pawn in these battles and even though my parents loved me, sometimes amidst the fights the anger and pride crushed every ounce of family love we had till we were standing in the burning rumble.
For years I never understood how such a loving home could turn so cold and so horrific. That a life I loved was something I dreaded waking up to everyday. How can two people who love each other, turn into mortal enemies? So what did I do? I started reading every marriage and family book put in front of me. I knew that I never wanted to make my future family go through the pain and the stress I had. Never would I willing put anyone through what I had.
Something that I cam to realize that a lot of relationships are tainted with this idea that there is one soul mate out there for us. In a past post, I talked about how there are multiple one in a millions. Since there are over 7 billion people on this planet this means there are thousands of one and a millions. With that said, there isn't just one person out there for you. Actually, with the effort, there are many different people that you could be happy with. You both just have to put in the effort and the work.
So here is the issue. If you are one of those who believe that there is one soul mate out there for you, let me twll you how this can actually ruin your relationships. Marriages and relationships are build on knowing, trusting, relying, loyalty and love, right? These take time, work, and effort to accomplish. Every day you have to give your significant other 100% and sometimes you have to give an extra 20% when they can only give 80% that day. It is on going.
Sometimes there becomes fights and issues that come up within a relationship. Things get stressful and hard and at night you are wondering, why is it this hard? If you got married thinking this person was your soul mate, you literally embedded a seed that told you that he/she is perfect. But as you are lying there at night, after hours of yelling and going to bed with such chaotic tension, you suddenly think, What if he/she isn't my soul mate? By doing this you realize that your actual soul mate might actual be still out there, and you haven't met them.
Do you see the issue? In a majority of marriages if both sincerely work on the marriage after 5 years you will find a happy couple. We are imperfect people living in an imperfect world. Things take time and great things take patience. If we fixate with this idea that there is only one person, even though it is a nice idea, we will end up hurting ourselves and everyone else involved. There isn't a soul mate out there for us, we create a soul mate with a person that we chose and a person that we work to love.
Love is out there, don't wait for it to fall into your lap. Go find it.
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